该死

not scared of death but terrified of dying. it's the process, not the result, that stalls me.

one day i'll reach a point where i'm more terrified of life than dying.

it's reaching a point where i'm starting to believe there's no point. because i'm shallow and useless and a failure, and everyone else has someone better, and they should.

my biggest fear has always been failure. my entire life has been nothing but, i realize.

death is the easy way out, isn't it? but isn't that all i do anyway?

excuses. selective reality. lies. cheating.

i'm scared.