what gets you off (or doesn't) when reading fic?

[meitachi]

So I'm kind off hiatus now! In that I'll be around but still much less frequently but, whatever, it's cool. I'm distracted from fandom by school but then distracted from RL by SPN/J2 fic so it's kind of a nice cycle? :D Reading so much fic lately has actually made me want to meta a bit so... Fair warning! Meta ahead!

(5:29:17 PM) t-oh!-ri: the MORE YOU KNOW
(5:29:20 PM) t-oh!-ri: the less you can enjoy ;__;

This is being said facetiously but it has a flavor of truth in some instances, at least for me. The incident I was describing to Tori was basically that since law school, I start fixating on the legality of certain actions in fics or the legal issues or procedures mentioned. I was reading a fic where one of the protagonists was a bartender and it was well-written, well-characterized, and I was completely distracted not even halfway through the one-shot by a throwaway mention of the bartender helping himself to a beer while on the job.

Me: What? Is that legal? That can't be legal. That smacks of such bad policy and decision-making, even if it's not illegal. Surely, it's illegal.

So I googled and it turns out that though some establishments may look the other way, it is illegal. It's not something so integral to the fic (plot or characterization) that it will render the whole thing unreadable for me, but it did make me frown a bit and ended up lessening (at least a little bit) my enjoyment of an otherwise plausibly realistic and fun fic.

I've also found that I can't read fics about lawyers or law enforcement anymore. Sure, suspension of disbelief is awesome - but apparently I'm only good at that when I don't know concretely that something is wrong/could not happen that way/etc. in a manner that is integral to the fic. So passing mentions, fine. A whole fic about lawyers that gets some pretty big aspects of the practice wrong? I personally can't enjoy.

But of course these are all personal quirks and preferences (for instance, I kind of adore well-done high school and college clicés and Harlequin plots!).

Has this happened to anyone else? Being unable to read a fic due to certain (non-triggery, non-editorial) issues? Or getting totally distracted from a fic by a small, random detail that either you knew was wrong or that you were fascinated by and wanted to learn more about via a trip to Wikipedia?


Also: let's talk about bulletproof kinks, just 'cause we can.


These are Mei's bulletproof kinks. Not just things I like but things guaranteed to make me end up in my bunk, so to speak. Unf.

-body shots
-nipple rings
-jealousy (I want the emotional turmoil and then the possessive sex but I need emotional closure too - don't make one side an asshole and excuse it through jealousy because, y'know, that just might mean he or she's an asshole, which does not make for a healthy relationship)
-voyeurism
-public sex teasing (it's more fun when they don't get to do anything about it until they have privacy because oh I want the UST to burn)

I suppose I should add "sex that isn't just fill-in-the-blank but where the characterizations really shine through", but that's kind of a given? I'd hope.

And some things I do like but are not so much bulletproof kinks as they are just...kinks. That are nice when done well:

-fingers in mouth
-handcuffs

And other stuff!

So tell me your your thoughts and your bulletproof kinks. LET US ALL OVERSHARE.

Comments

[callais.livejournal.com]

loooooooooooooool.

My kinks are suits and ties and PIANO A;SLDFJKL;ASKDFJ;ALSDKFJ.

...but no, it's like. If the person can't write it, then nothing will save the fic. 8'[

HI MEI HI.

[callais.livejournal.com]

or is that a fetish. /facepalms.

[taylormercury.livejournal.com]

Is that such a throwing-out-of-fic really though? What if it's in character for the bartender to have made that poor decision and have a drink on the job? There are plenty of people in the world who I'm sure would do things like that!

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Oh it wasn't out of character or anything - lots of bartenders do drink on the job if their managers look the other way or whatever. It was just something that stuck out to me, personally, because I'm tripping over the little legal details after hours upon hours of reading about law.

(Argh, posted before I meant to!)

I guess that's my point - that my personal biases/views have skewed my perspective of some things and it shows when reading fic. Also, sometimes I just google/wiki things fic mention and learn something! :D

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Oh dude, yes, I could totally see how Hetalia fandom would be constant "uh, did you do your research?" regarding fic. Though it makes me happy to think that there is surely superbly-researched awesome fic. HOW LOVELY. :D

...I will not get into the China-Japan-Nanking rape thing because it makes me get sort of ragey. :( But ooh what a fascinating thing to write a paper on. I do like history (why am I in law school again?).

Aww this reminds me not so much of a kink but of my personal perception of "true love". It's obvious in how I write it if I look back - it's all little touches and lots of eye contact and understanding each other without words and affection in the little thoughtful gestures and being there through the good times and the hard times and...yes! Super touching. ♥

[transitorial.livejournal.com]

omg HI YOU. ♥

ha, answering this question is making me raise an eyebrow at how long this list actually is. so, in short:

- ties (I just really like the concept of someone being able to be tugged around by one.)
- in a similar vein: I like well-done BDSM fic, but most things involving bondage. and I am the sort who knows more about that particular subject than most people think I should, because I find it fascinating on several levels and thus research it endlessly.
- breathplay fic. and once again, I can read this only rarely because SO MANY people do it wrong. it's sad.
- piercings. piercings and the endless amount of teasing that those piercings can provide. oh yes.
- posessive!sex, but reading your comment on jealousy I think I mean more what you've described?

and there are doubtless more but that's all I can think of for now!

[meiface.livejournal.com]

HI YOU ♥

- oh this reminds me! well done bloodplay actually makes me *__* a bit. Though I don't think I've seen it done well outside of Mirabella's H/D Harry-is-a-vampire fic, but I haven't read much so I guess I wouldn't know.
- piercings, yes. but specifically nipple rings for me, not even sure why.

The problem with a lot of jealousy/possessive!sex I've read is that the emotional part isn't handled well and then I end up thinking, "Dude, the guy's an asshole who doesn't trust you at all, why are you with him?" or "What the hell? Are you sure he's committed to you if he's deliberately engaging in activity he knows plays on your insecurities and will piss you off?" And then I'm just D: and don't get to enjoy the hot sex as much. I guess I need a careful (healthy!) handling of the emotional bits for it to not hit my this-is-not-a-healthy-relationship squick.

[sapphynashi.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are many times when a detail has thrown me out of a story, but the one that comes immediately to mind is when Character A shoots Character B in the stomach as a mercy kill. Oh god, I was so put off by that. That is so not a quick, clean death, that is in fact the opposite.

There's also, of course, the minefield that is porn, but that one's probably the most obvious and nobody needs to hear any more rants about lube. Let us segue into kinks!

...

Actually, I'm not sure if I have any particular kinks. Hmmm.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Maybe I haven't read enough fic where there is shooting for that to come up as an issue... But D: face.

Oh, god yes porn has a lot of "...what?" moments. And speaking of porn that induces epic amounts of "wtf", this wank (http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/1241128.html) made my day. It is hilarious and awful and the excerpts of the work in question is so, so lulzy. Also, this review of a crappy romance and its description of sex (http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/03/05/review-knight-moves-by-jamaica-layne/) made me laugh. And cry. And wince. And make horrible faces.

I thought I'd share!

[meiface.livejournal.com]

It seems like a popular kink! :3

[meritjubet.livejournal.com]

I was reading a smut fic recently and at first I was thinking that it has to be a parody since it was that terrible. It wasn't. I could have lived with that. But then one of the characters was continually compared to baby animals. Not a turn on :/ I can get 'puppy eyes', but please not during sex. At least not the way it was written *shudders*

- roleplay can be fun!
- phone sex
- voyeurism

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Omg see my above comment to sapphira_angel for links to truly truly outrageous examples of badly-written smut. It's glorious.

Also, baby animals are adorable, not sexy. D: That would throw me right out too.

Mmm voyeurism, I like. Phone sex is often hit or miss with me - done right, super hot. Not done right? It just comes off really cheesy and tawdry and overdone, haha. But it probably also depends on the mood I'm in.

[starflower135.livejournal.com]

um, dance floor teasing and belt loops I cannot resist, and I blame you because you write them so appealingly XDDDD I miss your fics~

[meiface.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD BELT LOOPS YES. Someone else turned me onto this and I forget who but god it's sexy.

Dance floor teasing is nice too. I think I just like lots of UST/groping. :D

[konzatsu.livejournal.com]

gah. yes. people who write sex that just isn't physically possible or the like drive me up the wall. and speaking of driving, that's one of my two pet peeves- bad driving and bad geekery.

i mean, i realize not everyone drives, and not everyone drives a stickshift, but would the tiniest bit of googling hurt you? or common sense? seriously. i mean ryohei probably isn't even tiny/flexible enough to actually crawl into the footwell of the driver's seat while the driver is actually, um, driving. and if you specify what kind of car the person as? at least look up whether it's even available in an auto or stick.

as far as the geekery goes (and i seem to notice this a lot in kyu-centric fics), there are certain things that one simply cannot do on a computer and looking them up is not that difficult. jfc.

/rant

tl;dr you're not the only one :D

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Ooh tell me more of what you've seen Kyu-the-geek do! I am curious, since you are far more techno-savvy than I will likely ever be.

BUT OH LORD YES the blowjobs in cars? Okay, yeah, can be hot but also really, really awkward. People don't really fit between the driver's leg's unless the seat is waaaay back and even then it wouldn't be comfortable - much less when they are driving. And okay maybe you can lean over from the passenger's side but there's the gear shift and all that mess in the middle to consider. This is why most sex in cars irl occurs in the backseat. And the backseat's still pretty damn tiny, so take into account the size of the people you're cramming back there. Honestly, I'd just prefer groping/UST and then actual sexytiemz once they're somewhere private and have space. u___u

Also, I don't know that much about cars but if I was going to talk about it any detail beyond "oh they were in a car on their way wherever", I'd, you know. Do some research.


ALSO I SAW YOUR POST WHERE YOU SAID YOU ARE WRITING SJ FIC? I AM CURIOUS, TELL ME MOAR.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

There are not enough fics in the world with body shots in them!

[celerywench.livejournal.com]

omg I completely agree!!! I am always wary about reading fics that deal with the fashion or music industry and New York City. Because I can spot a glaring inaccuracy for a million miles away. And somethings I will just accept, some I will question but let slide, but others I will be like OMG THAT'S NOT RIGHT IT CANT BE O.O and it will throw me so far off, I can only manage to stumble through the rest of the fic - AT BEST.

Kinks? hmmm....bareback 8D. I love that sort of intimate relationship♥ where it's ok and right

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I hear a lot of people who live in NYC sometimes can't recognize the city the way it's described in fics, lol. I've never read fic set anywhere I've lived though, so I wouldn't know... (Well, some SJM fics are set in Beijing but they don't really mention any specific locales or anything much. Pity.)

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Arms oh arms oh arms, I totally don't have a thing for nice arms, what are you talking about...

I think they count! :D I am less neck as I am collarbone+throat. Yum.

[filterpaper.livejournal.com]

GOD SERIOUSLY (lol the fact that this comment exists on this account) I CAN LIKE never enjoy dramas/movies because i get hung up on little things like "BUT HE DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS AFTER HE WENT TO THE WASHROOM" "BUT SHE'S JUMPING ON THE BED AND SHE DIDN'T TAKE OFF HER BOOTS!!!" "BUT THEY JUST LEFT THAT STEAK UNATTENDED WHAT A WASTE OF FOOOOOD" my life is sad

everything ever is a kink for me except bodily fluids that are not semen/saliva, gore/vore/guro/blood in general, and.... idk. specificially i lean on the darker stuff... like humil or dubcon how embarrassing @_____@ THOUGH FOR THE PAST LONGEST WHILE sex has been so boring to me, i would rather read cute getting together fics :x

[meiface.livejournal.com]

omg there are fics where I end up going: HE JUST THREW UP YOU CAN'T KISS HIM, GROSS. Or WAIT WHEN DID THE CLOTHES COME OFF or even, idk, YOUR CAR DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY SRY2SAY. But most things I can overlook even if they distract me. Sometimes I get hung up on them though. ;_;

OH RIGHT BB WAS A HXC JROCKER GIRL BEFORE FLUFFY BUBBLEGUM KPOP. Oh I forgot I like begging but it needs to be done well. Hell, most things work for me as long as they're done well.

I like cute get together fics that also have hot sex! J2 provides. But it's gotten to the point where, like, every single cute get together fic is also NC-17 and Mei goes: but, you know, most people don't go straight to the hawt sexings as soon as they emotionally confess their feelings to each other...

[thundersquall.livejournal.com]

Begging. RIDING, UNF. Begging. SELF-PREP FTFW, OKAY. Did I mention begging?

[meiface.livejournal.com]

So Sheena hates begging, let me make a note...

[mayawelstead.livejournal.com]

I totally do the detail thing. I spent about half an hour last night researching casual comments in the fic I was reading (new fandom) for validity. I was fascinated to find they were actually correct even though they were hardly integral to the plot. :D I guess that was the opposite extreme, but I also get annoyed when that sort of thing is wrong and it can destroy my enjoyment.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Yes! The little details can really make a fic - for the ones in the know, it is just awesome to see something so well-researched or familiar or true. For the ones who don't know, it still shows that the author knows, and it makes for a well-rounded, fleshed-out, and awesomely believable reading experience. This makes me feel like I should go do extra research on my writing now...

[kasugai-gummie.livejournal.com]

The lessening of enjoyment due to being way too informed pertains to TV shows too doesn't it? Like, I refused to and still refuse to watch Grey's Anatomy because the dramatization of what goes on in a hospital just made me D:.

And Bones, while enjoyable, mashes all my peeves when the title character, as a Cultural Anthropologist, displays the trappings of a socially awkward ethnocentric.

But, oh, when a fic DOES gets things right, it's an amazing thing, is it not?

Re: kink -- WALLING! ... and, oh, fighting/sparring/rough-housing as foreplay. *_*

[forochel.livejournal.com]

when the title character, as a Cultural Anthropologist, displays the trappings of a socially awkward ethnocentric.

ewwwwwwwwwwww

[suxing.livejournal.com]

Quick comment before I head off to bed, but first: screaaaams your icon T_T I love that artist so much omg ♥

I am a little similar with your law-school-know-too-much predicament, except on the medical/biology front. On the other hand though, hit me with a ridiculously well-researched fic with all the medical jargon and I go a little weak in the knees.

As for kinks, WALLSEX! And uhm, pinning against flat surfaces, horizontal or vertical (again, see wallsex). Am with you on the jealousy!kink front. Lover's spats + make-up sex... and I've found that I really kind of have a thing for fingering/finger-fucking, idek, it's just hot okay.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I HAVE 3 WHOLE STXI ICONS, I'M SO PROUD. /uses this one because she never gets a chance to

Yes, oh my god yes, when a fic is obviously well-researched, even if it's something I'm not totally knowledgeable about? SO MUCH WANT. Because then you can learn things from fic! Accurate not-made-up things! :D

I can't believe I forgot wallsex, damn. Vertical surface-slamming is kind of hot, god. Fingering is hit or miss for me (in the way that porn is hit or miss for me, depending on whether I'm in the mood for it or just end up skimming).

[black-goose.livejournal.com]

ties, fingers in mouth, sex/blowjobs against walls, sex while still somewhat clothed. mock-shyness.

slightly less healthy: dubcon and bondage T___T

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Hey, bondage isn't inherently unhealthy! And dubcon is actually a pretty big kink, though it usually isn't my thing? Hmm, well, actually - that probably depends on how we define 'dubcon'. Noncon isn't my thing but dubcon maybe...

Sex while somewhat clothed, yes! BLOWJOBS how did I forget blowjobs alskdgh. \o/

[forochel.livejournal.com]

WHAT, I ASK, IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FETISH AND A KINK. WHY "KINK MEME" BUT NOT "FETISH MEME"? ARE FETISHES NOT HARDCORE ENOUGH FOR KINKS? IS THAT WHY SNOWBALLING (which, ew, btw) IS NOT A FETISH BUT A KINK?


you know once I was egotistically googling my own fic and one fic in which, um, there was underaged dub-con dubious-lube-usage going on was recced and I was SO PLEASED because the reccer said that usually she doesn't like all that (which, yes, me too, idk why I wrote that) but I made it work. SO I GUESS AS LONG AS THE WRITER MAKES IT WORK, THE KINK IS GOOD.

I mean, I've been through the ST:XI kink meme, I don't think I have squicks anymore...

but we were talking about kinks. ummmm, is kissing counted? like, seriously, I love reading well-described kisses. OH, in rl I hatehatehate smoking but it's kind of hot in fic. I blame all the hot people in fandom who smoke. Sanzo, Crowley, Ray Person... clavicles! ties! bondage, holy fuck. begging!

[2naonh3-cl2.livejournal.com]

Kink is something that you enjoy during sex. Fetish is something you can't have sex without.

If you occasionally enjoy spanking during sex, that's a kink. If you always have to be spanked--if you're not spanked you can't actually become aroused/climax--then that's a fetish.

I'm not sure why I know this, I suspect that it was through a similar conversation some years ago. ^o~ Ah, fandom, you messed up my brain for life.

[ch-ar-me.livejournal.com]

cries just shows my priorities when i delurk from my own lj hiatus-ing to talk about KINKS.

anyway the first part of what you said--idk i tend to have a lot of leeway for fanfiction. i sometimes find myself suffering through badfic even which is really really sad. especially when it's like 50k+ long and it started so so amazing and then suddenly around 30k in it starts getting really bad... sometimes i'm all invested and can't stop reading :/ more often than not, it's dialogue that can turn me off. and then there's the scroll scroll scroll to see if the rest of the story's still okay or it's time to click close.

FOR KINKS.
-bodyshots yesyesyes.
-piercing manipulations (especially dangling earrings whut)
-wallswallswalls pressed&taken against yus
-public sex/ust i totally agree. how rushed and frantic everything is.
-tattoo licking
-can kissing be a kink? i just love kisses in fics. some authors can really detail it so well and while it doesn't have to be smutty, just very emotional kisses get to me.
-bite marks. this may be connected to my thing for vampires. uhm.
-make-up/angry sex. unf.
-UST. with the banter, the glances, the teasing touches, everything. more than the actual smut, it's the prior that appeals to me more.

i can probably think of more but ahfgsdhsd yes that could be enough.

[ch-ar-me.livejournal.com]

cries and just because i read the person-above-me's reply, i totally agree on smoking. ugh. personally i can't breathe with any kind of smoke around me but it sounds so hot in fic.

[2naonh3-cl2.livejournal.com]

Hi, Mei. <3

Shit that will get me to stop reading a fic or distract me until I need to go find something else to do: poorly written fight scenes--10 years of martial arts will make you kinda...anal about it--badly written sword fights/fencing--I was a fencer for years, and I researched my craft-- and I agree on the clothes thing. I will go back and reread the build up to a sex scene to figure out if I missed the part where his shoes came off or something.

Die hard kinks: possessive sex--jealously sex actually kinda annoys me...--bondage, wallsex while still partially clothed, hands in back pockets, cuddling, well written descriptions of alcohol before/after sex/on someone's mouth. :d It's all the in the details, my friend.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

This is what kind of terrifies me about writing fight scenes, since I have no experience. Then again, I guess I don't really write a lot of genres that call for it? Maybe I should branch out.

All it takes is one throwaway line of "they stripped and tumbled into bed" and I'm okay, but other times I'm like, "wait, he had a belt last scene, what happened, suddenly you're undoing his pants without mention of undoing the belt???" Maybe this is also why I don't like writing smut sometimes, lol.

Oh, oh, yes I agree with your kinks. *___* Hands in back pockets, partially clothed, unf.

[catskilt.livejournal.com]

Welcome back bb.

Fetishes, hmm. Probably jealousy, comfort sex, ties, gloves, slow removal of clothes, trying to remain silent in semi-public place, kissing, caressing. Mostly though, just sex with ~emotion~ :D Burning UST, oh yes *____*

I don't think I've encountered the "I have to wiki this!" in fic, but in books, yes. I've read up on things from British royal history to Marie Antoinette to ladyboys to the Cultural Revolution to the Great War, rofl.

Also, I think you need to see this, baby.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Gem, you just made me forget the entirety of your comment before the video. *__* I love you, oh my god. Donghae, even when I care about no one else in k-fandom, I will love you!

Not that I don't care. I am kind of vaguely caring. In the way where I am not. /coherent!

Um yes omg, trying to keep silent in public. :D

I've actually googled/wiki-ed a fair bit of stuff from amazing AUs - SJ doesn't tend toward those but some of my other fandoms? Wow. Plus, they have little really well-researched details and I get all happy inside. Fully-fleshed out writing, do want!

[danii06.livejournal.com]

I like Boston Legal A LOT. I see it as comedy more than anything, but it does have its dramatic moments. You'd probably find something to legally contest there though, I imagine.:P

Most of my turn-offs are porn-related, but I'm extra tetchy when I read about two virgins who have perfect first time sex and orgasm AT THE SAME TIME- sorry, who the hell are you kidding- that rarely ever happens for even the most sexually active couples.

Bulletproof Kinks:

Rough sex
Toys
Mild bondage

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I have heard from law students that Boston Legal is...either pretty good or pretty inaccurate, I can't remember which, lol. But actually what I remember people saying that it's about first year associates, right? Well, first-year associates don't have the free time to have drama - all they do is work. If they wanted drama, they should've done a show on law school!

Ahaha, I think I avoid the specific problem you mention by no longer reading fics where the characters in question start off virgins. A little experience is pretty hot. ;)

[coyotecolored.livejournal.com]

*resurfaces from THE DEEPS*

things that knock me out of a story real fast... when someone writes things being in Seoul that simply are not found outside of suburban North America. it just destroys the whole feeling of the city, for me, and makes me wonder if the author did any research at all. also, when Kyuhyun starts playing Starcraft, the console fighting game, or Starcraft, the racing game, or Starcraft, the shoot-em-up arcade game. like, seriously, people? :| wiki is your friend.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

HELLO FUU, I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL. ♥ (Say hi to Kat & Mai for me!)

That would knock me out of a story too - I think it helps that I've been there (and also to similar East Asian cities? I guess?) so I have a better idea. On the other hand, not that hard to google whether there is X in Seoul/other city. Seriously.

Ahahah, I totally wiki'd up Starcraft the first time I wrote about. I still go back to the article occasionally. ;_;

[papered.livejournal.com]

laughs HI MEI, I lol at how little details like that distract you/draw your attention - although it totally happens to me too, but in a nothing-I-can-concretely-remember-atm kind of way. possibly because there are very few fics actually going into ~biological details~, etcetc in my fandoms. on an interesting note - when I am not in beta-mode? I can miss the most giant plotholes in the world, LOL, no matter how obvious they are once someone else points them out. which is vaguely hilarious because I find that when I'm seriously betaing, sometimes I get so hung up and twitchy over little details and does-this-make-sense-or-is-it-all-in-my-head. y. volleys back and forth between extremes, :33.

in terms of (are they bulletproof? idk~!) kinks - I love jealousy fics too, because I love angst, especially very-angsty-and-extreme-angst, but in most cases that happens when main character B dies... and then they can't be revived so it must end unhappily ever after, which makes me >:/. jealousy is a good idea to work with, because you can totally be slayed - but still revived when they somehow work it all out and make up, laughs. ♥ I ALSO LOVE TIES and suits (cufflinks!) and formal clothing worn casually and belt hoops (this is your fault, I swear, even if I can't remember why). ALSO, I love little details in fic (those usually make the fic for me), plus KISSES ON CHEEKS because they are so sweet (is that even a kink? LOL) and they are different from full-on kisses because, idk, I make no sense but it's cute. ;~~~;

♥

[meiface.livejournal.com]

LITTLE DETAILS ARE GREAT WHEN DONE WELL and can detract from fic collectively if there are a lot of little errors.

(12:20:34 AM) oh! 嗨!: omg formal clothes worn casually *__*
(12:20:41 AM) oh! 嗨!: loosened buttoned up shirts, untucked - yum
(12:20:42 AM) Elizabeth: oh, I see, you are reading my very-coherent comment :33
(12:20:50 AM) Elizabeth: I love that in photoshoots too urg
(12:21:23 AM) oh! 嗨!: unf :D

/lazy comment reply is lazy

Kisses on cheeks are sweet - you've mentioned this before, I remember!