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then there are times when you look at me like i'm all you see
So, Inception fandom.
I feel like I'm staggering around in this fandom with my heart in my hands, just waiting for another perfect moment, a perfect line, to break me and lay me out on the ground.
Ugh, what a hideous and painful mental image. What am I trying to say here? Mostly I mean that there is something about this fandom that keeps getting to me on this wretchedly personal level, over and over, leaving me feeling gutted and breathless and hopeless and hopeful and a little less alone.
On some level, I think all fandoms I've been involved in do that. There has to be that hook that gets me interested, then keeps me interested. The fandoms that do it best get me deepest and keep me there longest. Sometimes that hook is witty banter or attractive men or attractive men who keep pawing at each other and call it fanservice. Sometimes the hook is friendship that transcends societal stereotypes. Sometimes it's just in the potential.
For me, in Inception, it's been about finding myself where I least expected it.
I think part of it is that the fandom is just so large. It's the largest fandom I've been actively involved in, ever, and one of the only fandoms I've been in since its inception (sorry, I couldn't resist). Honestly, though, I've never watched a fandom build from the ground up like this and expand. I caught a glimpse of it in SJ - I came in well after the group and fandom were established, but watching the fandom grow so huge after Sorry Sorry was interesting (and made me feel old, no lie). There was a little bit of this with Ouran too, since the fandom mostly exploded as the anime aired. But comparatively those were incredibly tiny fandoms - Inception is huge because it's a Western fandom and, beyond even that, it's one of the biggest Western fandoms ever. Seems like everyone and their mother went and saw this movie and, as a result, the fandom has gathered so many people from so many different previous fandoms and dumped them together. (Like a melting pot. Like America?)
I think it also helps that since characterization was so sparse in the canon work, there is so much room for people to develop personalities and backstories in their fanworks. And, of course, the movie gave us such a fascinating concept to work with as our framework (manipulating dreams - endless possibilities). All the factors combined to, essentially, create a gigantic (prolific and so far incredibly friendly and enthusiastic) fandom.
The bigger a fandom, the more works it produces, of course. Which means a higher the number of fics, in total, that are likely to get to me in little, sometimes unexpected (sometimes not so unxpected), ways.
I feel like I'm making a bigger muddle of things than I meant to. What I'm trying to say is that, because there are so many fics in this fandom, there is a higher likelihood that I will stumble over something that, when I read it, makes my heart clench and go -- oh. Oh, this is me. I recognize this feeling. I have been here. Or I could be here, maybe, I could see this being me. I would react like this, feel like this - this hurt or this joy. I could fall to this gnawing doubt or this sick irrational jealousy.
Usually it is the insecurities that get to me, and it is the resolution of those in the fic that is like a form of catharsis.
This is why![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
weatherfront's It's Automatic is so intensely, ridiculously, off-the-charts personal for me. I see so much of myself in Eames's fears and disappointments, in the very way he looks at Arthur and sees him. It's a mindset, as fallible or mistaken as it might be. This isn't to say that I'm desperately in unrequited love with someone whom I think will forever be out of my grasp, no - seeing myself in Eames is not quite so literal as that, of course. It's always subtler, isn't it? It's not the facts of the circumstance, but the feelings, because those are feelings are what builds the character, the person; the feelings make him who he is (who I am).
It's reading things likesyllic's medieval AU, (vague spoilers ahead) which of course couldn't be further away from my real life, and then aching when Eames feels like he has to let Arthur go. And then aching more when Arthur chooses Eames because Eames has been too lost in his own head to realize that Arthur has already choose him.
It's readingcherrybina's fic about Arthur's dimples (she calls it dimple porn but oh it really is too romantic to be anything but dimple fluff, despite all the sex) and feeling something unraveling in my chest at the love on dispaly. That's the kind of feeling (love) that I want to hold onto, something that can inspire laughter, judgment-free and intimate, leaving two people naked both literally and figuratively with each other and okay with that.
It's partly wanting something like that, partly wondering if such a thing exists in reality. It's wishing, regardless, for answers like forgiveness and true love and not letting the right one go, and being able to come back even after you've left, or having a second (or third or twenty-third) chance after a mistake-- These are things I don't know if are available to me in real life (or if they are even applicable to my real life), but they are things I want to believe, and things that fandom offers me.
What's strange, I've been thinking recently, is that I almost always, without fail, identify most with Eames in fic. It's not that fandom hasn't written incredibly believable, sympathetic Arthurs, because they have! I adore Arthur. Every shade of him, every different manisfestation of him and his quirks. I have often said that, in reality, I am more like him: I like things to have structure and order and go according to plan. I am not terribly flighty or spontaneous or impulsive. I am sometimes afraid of taking the big risks because I am too conscious of the potential consequences.
I say I always feel for characters like Eames because I admire (envy) the kind of courage they have in putting themselves out there. In having that whole-hearted kind of passion that lets them feel and not lock everything up inside.
But I've been thinking more about this lately... I am not that much like Arthur, I realized. I am far too emotional. I honestly don't think Arthur is a robot or anything close, but I don't think he could be anywhere near as weepy and needy and hopelessly fascinated by possibilities the way I am (yet so afraid of not having guarantees and certainties). I think he values efficiency too much. This is why I don't really think he's repressed or socially awkward; just sometimes an asshole, but sometimes perfectly personable. I think he's had plenty of functional relationships, sexual and otherwise, in the past. That doesn't mean he is without his own doubts, of course, but I don't think they hold him back nearly as much as fandom sometimes portrays him.
And Eames. Eames, who at first seems brilliant but so nonchalant, sometimes flirtatious, sometimes entirely focused on being badass. Eames, how I love him. Maybe it's just me, but I see strains of insecurity in the way he lets Arthur's condescension gets to him, strains of very human schadenfraude (and just general amusement) at tipping Arthur's chair over. I see someone entirely capable at what he does but who is not without doubts. Someone entirely confident in themselves, at ease with themselves, wouldn't allow someone like Arthur (who can't even pronoucne anyone's name right, gosh) get to him. Especially since Arthur can't be doing more than making an occasional skeptical comment, since despite whatever few doubts he has, in the end he still trusts Eames (and Dom's faith in Eames) to handle huge aspects of the plan and then carry out his role in them. Arthur trusts Eames more than he doesn't, but it's the little slivers of doubt that worm their way under Eames's skin. Makes him feel like he has to prove himself, at times, or makes him feel like he's allowed to have his own moment of condescension ("you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling").
WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING ANYMORE. I told you this would be incoherent.
Okay, essentially it boils down to the fact that I think, despite everything I originally thought, that I identify so much more with Eames than Arthur in my head. I see so much of myself in Eames. I'm not sure why, exactly, except that--
Except that I know I am just projecting so much of myself onto Eames. Really, in the end, that's all that is. This is all my own projection of "Arthur" and "Eames", colored by my life and feelings and experiences. In a canon like this, there is no perfectly "IC" characterization. They could be written any number of ways, and have been, and to an extent I think they're all believable as long as the writing sells it to us. We are a broad audience; many of us are willing to buy.
For me, though, as myself - I am most willing to "buy" an Arthur who is not repressed (who is at times awkward and at times a smooth fucking operator) and an Eames who is probably much more vulnerable than he likes to show (but not any less capable for that). Not because that is the one true and right characterization, but because it is a reflection of who I am as a person, and what I like, and what I'm looking to get out of fandom. This is what keeps me in fandom. It's a very self-absorbed, narcissistic thing. As long as I find what I'm looking for, as long as I still have that emotional hook, I will be here paying attention to this fandom, seeing myself reflected in the characters I am looking to love.
I don't think anyone sees the exact same character, in the end. (I don't think we're all looking! Or that this is the hook that keeps us all in fandom.) But sometimes, as readers, we come across a line, an exchange, a story, that manages to capture exactly how we feel. It's like looking into a mirror and realizing it's actually a window and there is someone we don't know on the other side, someone who wrote this, who is actually less a stranger than we originally thought. Because they know how this feels.
In the end, really, all this post is saying is that I am hopeless romantic and while in reality that may just get my heart trampled on - in fandom, in this fandom, I am allowed the privilege to dream.
"I may not be any good for you," says Arthur, "but I promise that I'll be worth your time."
...also, on a totally different note, this fandom is a bit terrifying; a lot overwhelming. There are just so many people and so many of them are just so good at what they do, and everyone is generally incredibly enthusiastic and friendly. While that's welcoming on the one hand, on the other it's just so much "how do I even begin to deal with all this?" It's a bit surreal, being suddenly caught in the middle of all these amazing people doing amazing things. I feel a bit lost. Like, what are you all doing here? What am I doing here?
Loving you, it seems. Dazedly, blissfully, gratefully, hopelessly.
I feel like I'm staggering around in this fandom with my heart in my hands, just waiting for another perfect moment, a perfect line, to break me and lay me out on the ground.
Ugh, what a hideous and painful mental image. What am I trying to say here? Mostly I mean that there is something about this fandom that keeps getting to me on this wretchedly personal level, over and over, leaving me feeling gutted and breathless and hopeless and hopeful and a little less alone.
On some level, I think all fandoms I've been involved in do that. There has to be that hook that gets me interested, then keeps me interested. The fandoms that do it best get me deepest and keep me there longest. Sometimes that hook is witty banter or attractive men or attractive men who keep pawing at each other and call it fanservice. Sometimes the hook is friendship that transcends societal stereotypes. Sometimes it's just in the potential.
For me, in Inception, it's been about finding myself where I least expected it.
I think part of it is that the fandom is just so large. It's the largest fandom I've been actively involved in, ever, and one of the only fandoms I've been in since its inception (sorry, I couldn't resist). Honestly, though, I've never watched a fandom build from the ground up like this and expand. I caught a glimpse of it in SJ - I came in well after the group and fandom were established, but watching the fandom grow so huge after Sorry Sorry was interesting (and made me feel old, no lie). There was a little bit of this with Ouran too, since the fandom mostly exploded as the anime aired. But comparatively those were incredibly tiny fandoms - Inception is huge because it's a Western fandom and, beyond even that, it's one of the biggest Western fandoms ever. Seems like everyone and their mother went and saw this movie and, as a result, the fandom has gathered so many people from so many different previous fandoms and dumped them together. (Like a melting pot. Like America?)
I think it also helps that since characterization was so sparse in the canon work, there is so much room for people to develop personalities and backstories in their fanworks. And, of course, the movie gave us such a fascinating concept to work with as our framework (manipulating dreams - endless possibilities). All the factors combined to, essentially, create a gigantic (prolific and so far incredibly friendly and enthusiastic) fandom.
The bigger a fandom, the more works it produces, of course. Which means a higher the number of fics, in total, that are likely to get to me in little, sometimes unexpected (sometimes not so unxpected), ways.
I feel like I'm making a bigger muddle of things than I meant to. What I'm trying to say is that, because there are so many fics in this fandom, there is a higher likelihood that I will stumble over something that, when I read it, makes my heart clench and go -- oh. Oh, this is me. I recognize this feeling. I have been here. Or I could be here, maybe, I could see this being me. I would react like this, feel like this - this hurt or this joy. I could fall to this gnawing doubt or this sick irrational jealousy.
Usually it is the insecurities that get to me, and it is the resolution of those in the fic that is like a form of catharsis.
This is why
weatherfront's It's Automatic is so intensely, ridiculously, off-the-charts personal for me. I see so much of myself in Eames's fears and disappointments, in the very way he looks at Arthur and sees him. It's a mindset, as fallible or mistaken as it might be. This isn't to say that I'm desperately in unrequited love with someone whom I think will forever be out of my grasp, no - seeing myself in Eames is not quite so literal as that, of course. It's always subtler, isn't it? It's not the facts of the circumstance, but the feelings, because those are feelings are what builds the character, the person; the feelings make him who he is (who I am).It's reading things like
syllic's medieval AU, (vague spoilers ahead) which of course couldn't be further away from my real life, and then aching when Eames feels like he has to let Arthur go. And then aching more when Arthur chooses Eames because Eames has been too lost in his own head to realize that Arthur has already choose him. It's reading
cherrybina's fic about Arthur's dimples (she calls it dimple porn but oh it really is too romantic to be anything but dimple fluff, despite all the sex) and feeling something unraveling in my chest at the love on dispaly. That's the kind of feeling (love) that I want to hold onto, something that can inspire laughter, judgment-free and intimate, leaving two people naked both literally and figuratively with each other and okay with that. It's partly wanting something like that, partly wondering if such a thing exists in reality. It's wishing, regardless, for answers like forgiveness and true love and not letting the right one go, and being able to come back even after you've left, or having a second (or third or twenty-third) chance after a mistake-- These are things I don't know if are available to me in real life (or if they are even applicable to my real life), but they are things I want to believe, and things that fandom offers me.
What's strange, I've been thinking recently, is that I almost always, without fail, identify most with Eames in fic. It's not that fandom hasn't written incredibly believable, sympathetic Arthurs, because they have! I adore Arthur. Every shade of him, every different manisfestation of him and his quirks. I have often said that, in reality, I am more like him: I like things to have structure and order and go according to plan. I am not terribly flighty or spontaneous or impulsive. I am sometimes afraid of taking the big risks because I am too conscious of the potential consequences.
I say I always feel for characters like Eames because I admire (envy) the kind of courage they have in putting themselves out there. In having that whole-hearted kind of passion that lets them feel and not lock everything up inside.
But I've been thinking more about this lately... I am not that much like Arthur, I realized. I am far too emotional. I honestly don't think Arthur is a robot or anything close, but I don't think he could be anywhere near as weepy and needy and hopelessly fascinated by possibilities the way I am (yet so afraid of not having guarantees and certainties). I think he values efficiency too much. This is why I don't really think he's repressed or socially awkward; just sometimes an asshole, but sometimes perfectly personable. I think he's had plenty of functional relationships, sexual and otherwise, in the past. That doesn't mean he is without his own doubts, of course, but I don't think they hold him back nearly as much as fandom sometimes portrays him.
And Eames. Eames, who at first seems brilliant but so nonchalant, sometimes flirtatious, sometimes entirely focused on being badass. Eames, how I love him. Maybe it's just me, but I see strains of insecurity in the way he lets Arthur's condescension gets to him, strains of very human schadenfraude (and just general amusement) at tipping Arthur's chair over. I see someone entirely capable at what he does but who is not without doubts. Someone entirely confident in themselves, at ease with themselves, wouldn't allow someone like Arthur (who can't even pronoucne anyone's name right, gosh) get to him. Especially since Arthur can't be doing more than making an occasional skeptical comment, since despite whatever few doubts he has, in the end he still trusts Eames (and Dom's faith in Eames) to handle huge aspects of the plan and then carry out his role in them. Arthur trusts Eames more than he doesn't, but it's the little slivers of doubt that worm their way under Eames's skin. Makes him feel like he has to prove himself, at times, or makes him feel like he's allowed to have his own moment of condescension ("you mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling").
WHAT AM I EVEN SAYING ANYMORE. I told you this would be incoherent.
Okay, essentially it boils down to the fact that I think, despite everything I originally thought, that I identify so much more with Eames than Arthur in my head. I see so much of myself in Eames. I'm not sure why, exactly, except that--
Except that I know I am just projecting so much of myself onto Eames. Really, in the end, that's all that is. This is all my own projection of "Arthur" and "Eames", colored by my life and feelings and experiences. In a canon like this, there is no perfectly "IC" characterization. They could be written any number of ways, and have been, and to an extent I think they're all believable as long as the writing sells it to us. We are a broad audience; many of us are willing to buy.
For me, though, as myself - I am most willing to "buy" an Arthur who is not repressed (who is at times awkward and at times a smooth fucking operator) and an Eames who is probably much more vulnerable than he likes to show (but not any less capable for that). Not because that is the one true and right characterization, but because it is a reflection of who I am as a person, and what I like, and what I'm looking to get out of fandom. This is what keeps me in fandom. It's a very self-absorbed, narcissistic thing. As long as I find what I'm looking for, as long as I still have that emotional hook, I will be here paying attention to this fandom, seeing myself reflected in the characters I am looking to love.
I don't think anyone sees the exact same character, in the end. (I don't think we're all looking! Or that this is the hook that keeps us all in fandom.) But sometimes, as readers, we come across a line, an exchange, a story, that manages to capture exactly how we feel. It's like looking into a mirror and realizing it's actually a window and there is someone we don't know on the other side, someone who wrote this, who is actually less a stranger than we originally thought. Because they know how this feels.
In the end, really, all this post is saying is that I am hopeless romantic and while in reality that may just get my heart trampled on - in fandom, in this fandom, I am allowed the privilege to dream.
"I may not be any good for you," says Arthur, "but I promise that I'll be worth your time."
...also, on a totally different note, this fandom is a bit terrifying; a lot overwhelming. There are just so many people and so many of them are just so good at what they do, and everyone is generally incredibly enthusiastic and friendly. While that's welcoming on the one hand, on the other it's just so much "how do I even begin to deal with all this?" It's a bit surreal, being suddenly caught in the middle of all these amazing people doing amazing things. I feel a bit lost. Like, what are you all doing here? What am I doing here?
Loving you, it seems. Dazedly, blissfully, gratefully, hopelessly.
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BUT YES THAT IS AN FMA MOODTHEME. And it's been forever since I've really paid attention to the fandom but I will NEVER CHANGE THIS MOODTHEME because it is the best. ♥
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I can't believe this fandom is just over a month old. It's so bloody big already. It just exploded and it just keeps on growing!
My 'to-read' bookmark folder is getting ridiculously long XD
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That's also what's kind of amazing - that it's drawn so many different people together from different corners of other fandoms to bind together and find things in common. Pretty darn cool.
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Seriously, though, seriously. I think writing, through fandom or otherwise, is so often an act of asking for salvation, not from sin or anything huge and dramatic and absolute like that, but salvation from being alone-- where all anyone ever wants, reader and writer, is for the reader to come to the writer and say, I know what you mean. And that no matter how wildly incomprehensible we seem to ourselves at times, there's something we share in that, and sometimes there are people who know you even when you don't know yourself.
I love this fandom-- I love you! And I think it's really the best thing any fandom could ask for, when someone like you can say why you love it, and it's for all the most wonderful reasons.
♥
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haha I love this fandom because I am selfish and narcissistic. ;___; But the fandom gives me so much, I don't want to give it in return. Thanks for listening or, well, reading. I think I need a break from overthinking this a bit so instead maybe I will tell you about my SUPER ADORABLE PROFESSOR I TOTALLY HAVE AN INSTANT CRUSH ON. He is British and wears a suit and tie to class and is so funny and so smart and makes the topic interesting (okay, granted, it was interesting to begin with) and I am pretty sure I spent half my class trying to hide inappropriate star-struck giggles behind my hand while he talked and I attempted to not look stupid because I was listening, I was.
(and god if I say I love you another time, I should just start a jar where I put in a quarter every time and in no time at all, I will have enough for many loads of laundry! I'm not sure whether this is inceptive to stop or say it more, actually.)
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Terrifying but exhilarating, I agree. Maybe not good for me, I don't know yet, BUT WORTH EVERY MOMENT. ♥♥♥
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My work ethic is absolutely shot already. Thank God for Chrome Nanny. On that note, I probably should...read for class and sleep, considering my 8am tomorrow.
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I know exactly what you mean, the sense of seeing yourself in a fic, in someone else's fic, which is strange and startling, like seeing yourself in a mirror that you didn't even know was going to be there. And then it amazes me that these people, these writers and fellow readers and thinkers and dreamers, are often willing to look right back at you and offer you a smile, and that is amazing, that is worth staying up into the long hours of the night for.
I love what you say about Eames, because my Eames is always some variation of me: who I think I am, who I wish I could be, who I sometimes wish I'm not like because, well, no one is perfect, least of all Eames.
ahhhh.
*loves you back*
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(IT DOESN'T HURT THAT TOM HARDY IS ASLDKGHFJD-INDUCING AND-- YES. TOO RIDICULOUS TO BE ALIVE.)
/clings to you!
It's the strangest thing; I never expected to be caught up in this fandom to the point of being active in it (hahaha for a flexible definition of active anyway), since I am pro at lurking and reading fic and just letting that be. I didn't come in expecting to meet new people and wanting to engage with them, but it has happened, and it has been fantastic (and possibly it is awful for my self-esteem but I would never regret y'all, NEVER). I REGRET NOTHING.
(Also, is there a name I can call you by? alskdhfj how remiss to only be asking you this now.)
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My name is Nancy, but I like to be called N. Because it makes me feel like a spy, ahaha. (No, really, that's the reason why).
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Er, but enough about me. MORE ABOUT YOU, N, AND THE FACT THAT I STILL HAVE REGENCY AU OPEN BUT I HAVE NOT CAUGHT UP YET because I got distracted rambling here forever, augh. Bad priorities, bad!
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Do not fear, the Regency AU will still be there whenever you want to return to it!
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I am so excited that you will finish it soon ahhhhh god I wonder if anyone ever got so excited about Dickens' weekly installments in the paper, haha. I can't imagine.
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We could have cheated, but we lived in fear that we'd be discovered and thus shamed by our peers for not being Victorian enough or having poor control issues, idk.
(Even now, I get an illicit thrill when I can read Dickens without pause. Other people have wild sex or rob a bank -- I giggle vicariously through Bleak House).
Long story is long, sorry!
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alksdfjf this is awesome; I wasn't actually expecting you to have such an on-point and awesome story relating to my offhanded musing. 8D
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there is something about this fandom that keeps getting to me on this wretchedly personal level, over and over, leaving me feeling gutted and breathless and hopeless and hopeful and a little less alone.
YES YES YES. I wasn't looking for a new fandom. I didn't need a new fandom, but something here has me hooked so deep that I couldn't back out now if I tried.
And I agree with so much of what you said about identifying with Eames. It's been something of a surprise to me, actually. I walked out of the movie all like FUCK YES ARTHUR, and then after processing and processing (and processing omg) and then sitting down to get inside their heads, it all shifted. That's why Eames coming in Arthur's dimples turned into... that. I just. Oh, Eames ♥
I am totally and completely overwhelmed, and just. MY HEART. Oh, my heart ♥&hearts♥
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Exactly what you said about not searching for a new fandom! It just sort of sneak-attacked us, I think, and kept us hooked for good. I was only curious! But I had other things going on, it was okay! And then, boom, suddenly it's a month later and my Delicious has exploded and I've actually written and I've made new friends and it's all just a little - "what happened here? what year is it? WHO AM I?"
Also agreeing with not initially being in love with Eames (hellloooo Arthur being badass), but it's fandom, I think, that opened our collective eyes about how damned capable Eames is and made us love him.
Well, fandom and TOM HARDY. AND THAT ASS. AND THAT MOUTH. AND THOSE TATTOOS. AND THAT VOICE. And...his general ridiculousness, oh my god, never leave me.
♥♥♥ so muuuuuchhhh.
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The fandom delivers on so many levels. The film itself has so many layers, and still fandom finds a way to go in and make it even more layered, with all of this character stuff, both in meta and in so much amazing fic.
And of course we have Tom Hardy, who just. HOW DID WE GET SO LUCKY ♥
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Anyway, I found this post via -- where else? -- Aja's delicious and it's SO TIMELY because I too (like everyone else, it seems!) have been trying to wrestle with this fandom's ability to get under my skin, when I waded into it thinking it would just be a lot of ridiculous fun.
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Granted, it still is ridiculous fun! It's just got its hooks deeper in me than I originally expected. Now I'm kind of terrified, to be honest. How is this fandom THIS big and THIS talented?
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akjsdlkajsd Inception *_* I'm only just getting into the theorising... I thought I wouldn't watch it again, but I'm so intrigued I might just about have to.
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You should definitely watch it again! Though after a certain point I quit on the thinky thoughts about the film and just focused on the characters and the way fandom's treated them. I think it's more fun, but I've always been the type of person geared to enjoy a fandom (fan celebration) over its canon. When done right, anyway. :3
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it does require a lot of energy though. sometimes (all the time...) I feel like I just can't keep up. it was bad enough when I was just following SJ and they were just one group, one tiny fandom. though on the other hand, at least Inception is a closed canon, not like kpop which is a constant source of new things.
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idk. i'll pull myself out of the slump somehow
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also it occurred to me the other day that inception will never be a yuletide-eligible fandom.
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...never. Not even close. But some fandoms are just like that: insta-boom!
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for some reason, arthur/eames just like, TEARS MY HEART OUT occasionally. (usually this is the fault of either
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Yes, yes, there is just something that gets to me about Arthur/Eames. :( I don't know what it is but I am content just loving them to bits.
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Also, Eames (or even TOM HARDY) is so far from my type. At least, he seems, you know? But I feel like with every fic and with every discussion (read, not even participated in), with every movie rewatch he opens just ~so, he seems more and more fascinating and while on some level I could pinpoint his finest points (...uh), but it's not about them, he's just. <33 so.
(of course, I can't help but identify with him at times, too. sigh.)
It's like looking into a mirror and realizing it's actually a window and there is someone we don't know on the other side, someone who wrote this, who is actually less a stranger than we originally thought. Because they know how this feels.
YES. Yes, exactly. Gosh. Sometimes there are just stories that pull your heart out of your chest without even intending to, they just are this way, getting personal and too close for comfort when you haven't seen it coming. (Hah, kinda like people, then.)
(excuse my overly dramatic rambling, damn, I need to sleep. already going.)
♥
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It's okay if you want to ramble! I'm really glad you felt like you got something out of this post, which was basically just me rambling. And oh god yes, fandom is like people (fandom is people): can surprise us in the best of ways, as Inception has done. ♥
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♥ I don't remember what I was saying but I think it was: ilu, even if I don't really know you. And that's what this fandom does.
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(and because i have nobody else to say this to, but i think 盗梦空间 is a great translation, even if 盗梦 is the translation for extraction rather than inception.)