#sadpanda

[meitachi]

The metaphorical jizzing on Kaner's face going on throughout this entire article sort of makes my day. This reporter, dude. I ship him/Kaner.

In honor of Tazer finally getting to play again tonight (!!), here is a story I told nicolasechs, with visual aids!

Once upon a time, there was a panda named Tazer.



One day, he fell down.



And then he got a concussion and couldn't play with the other pandas.

And so he was sad. :(

And rocked himself sadly.



IN A DARK ROOM.

ALONE.

Listening to Evanescence.

But then I lost my pandas hugging gif, so instead you will get h/c cuddling kittens.



AND THEN TAZER PANDA/KITTEN/SMALL FURRY THING FELT BETTER.

THE END.

In the alternative ending to this story, Tazer turns into a cute dumb floppy puppy:



AND MEI ROLLS HIM AND ROLLS HIM LIKE KATAMARI, YESS. /ROLLS EVERYTHING


In conclusion, I leave you with a letter.

Dear Patrick Kane,

Learn to wear a suit.

Now that is a GQMF.

Sincerely,
Mei

Comments

[meiface.livejournal.com]

My favorite part is - okay, all of it - but the part where the reporter manages to fanboy Kaner trading the playoff mullet for a beard as a sign of his remarkable unselfish awesome maturity is PRETTY GREAT.

[forochel.livejournal.com]

CRYING. TEARS OF BLOOD. TEARS OF BLOOOOOOOD.

WHY DOES NOBODY EVER DECIDE TO DRESS HIM? IS HE UNDRESSEABLE? THIS IS FROM A SHOOT, PRESUMABLY, WITH A STYLIST:



SOMEONE FIRE THAT STYLIST. I JUST. I DON'T. CANNOT. UGHHHHHHHH. WHY?


ROLLING:

[meiface.livejournal.com]

IT'S LIKE THEY WANT TO HIDE HIS THIGHS, MAYBE?

WHY WOULD YOU EVER WANT TO HIDE HIS THIGHS? I'M A BIG FAN OF THIGHS IN SPORTS.

CRON KNOWS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, DUDE. [insert appropriate gif]



ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLING omg

[forochel.livejournal.com]

MEI I WENT TO ONTD_FOOTBALL TO LOOK FOR A CRONALDO THIGH GIF FOR YOU




BUT THEN I GOT DISTRACTED BY THE CESC FABREGAS TAG! BUT ANYWAY, RELEVANT TO YR LETTER:






eta

[meiface.livejournal.com]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Xabi Alonso, flawless. ♥

[impertinence.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL THAT ARTICLE. man. "Patrick Kane is just so dreamy *___*"

[meiface.livejournal.com]

IT'S SO GREAT. KANER IS SO GREAT. DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW UNSELFISH HE IS? AND HOW AWESOME? DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HOW HIS CAREER LOW IN POINTS/GOALS IS DUE TO NO FAULT OF HIS OWN BUT IS ACTUALLY DUE TO HOW UNSELFISH HE IS? AND ALSO BECAUSE HE IS AWESOME.

P.S. DID I MENTION HE'S SUPER SUPER AWESOME????

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

DEAD AT THE STORY OF TOEWS AS TOLD BY PANDAS AND OTHER ANIMALS

ALSO DEAD AT THAT TERRIBLE SUIT OH GOD WHY

[meiface.livejournal.com]

IN THE SECOND PANDA GIF, FALLING TAZER PANDA GETS KICKED BY THE OTHER PANDA LOLOL.

Click the liiiiiiinks for someone who knows how to wear suit. *__*

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

omg I did, I DID

WHO IS THAT GLORIOUS MAN

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Xabi Alonso, plays for Real Madrid and the Spanish National team. ♥ (European football!)

Seriously, he's smart, classy, beautiful, well-spoken, gorgeous wife/adorable kids, FLAWLESS MAN.

[herwhereabouts.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, Xabi Alonso. You fly, fine mofo. Kaner should be sent to style school, poor thing. Actually, all hockey players need to get on that, ASAP.

SAD PANDAS FOR THE WIN.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

XABI ALONSO, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Ugh, the entire Spanish National Team = ♥ Too bad football is in a terrible time zone for me, so thank god for hockey.

Nando makes me a sad panda though. /bitter Liverpool fan

[herwhereabouts.livejournal.com]

XABI IS A BOSS and it totes makes me happy that he's playing for Real. I love my team. I love the entire Spanish national team, but totally judge Torres hardcore every time I read something about him. I feel like he is a traitorous misfit even though I'm not a Liverpool fan. Dude has been seriously tainted for me. :/

I DVR some of the games and watch them during the weekend. YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO. Also, Cristiano's and Kaka's bromance is otherworldly, so there's extra incentive right there, haha.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

OH MAN I LOVE REAL TOO. :D They're my La Liga team and, yes, yes, the CrisKa love is epic and fabulous.

Do you read fic for them? I normally don't read for football, but I stumbled across this CrisKa AU (http://archiveofourown.org/works/345952) and it was fabulous.

Basically Nando just makes me ;_______; forever. He's been tainted for me too, but I loved him and still do so ugh. It's complicated.

[herwhereabouts.livejournal.com]

HIGH FIVE, BB!

OH GOD. 30,000 words and featuring half-demon Cris and priest Kaka? GLORIOUS. Thanks so much for the rec! I haven't read any footie fic in AGES.

Him and his stupid mohawk back in 2008 captured my heart. Ugh, I get where you're coming from. WHY TORRES WHY. >:/

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Pandas!! They're hard to resist. ♥

hahaha Kaner gets to all of us, I understand. To be honest, I got into fandom thinking he was more attractive than Tazer and so I was super confused by the primer that kept calling him ugly. ;__; He's such a disaster of a human being BUT ALSO SO GREAT. (The article agrees with me!)

But Xabi Alonso is flawless, honestly.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

Some places to start, for whenever you have time:

http://www.kickette.com/2010-update-the-kickette-hot-hall-of-fame/
http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/xabi-alonso
http://ontd-football.livejournal.com/2383664.html

Ugh, reigniting all my football feelings right now. BAD TIMING. COME ON HAWKS. /o\ I am all over the place right now, gah.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I KNOW RIGHT? If it weren't for the Hawks and getting to finally see Tazer play, I'd seriously be in bed at ten. So tired today!

Will you be in chat? I'm checking in in a bit.

[so-the-purity.livejournal.com]

What the- Is that gif for real, of the panda rocking back and forth? For some reason that seems totally insane to me.


PATRICK [I DON'T KNOW YOUR MIDDLE NAME] KANE, YOU ARE A MILLIONAIRE. HIRE SOMEONE TO BUY AND TAILOR YOUR SUITS.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I have no idea, honestly! But it's so hilariously adorable that I don't care either way. :D

HIS MIDDLE NAME IS TIMOTHY.

IT IS SAD I KNOW THAT.

But I have spent a lot of time on his Wiki page. Oh Wikipedia, the hours I have lost to you...

[ky-rin.livejournal.com]

JEEZ PANDAS AND HOT MEN IN SUITS IN THIS POST, WTF --- alsdkjalsdkj AWESOME SERIOUSLY AWESOME. I like everything about this post even though I don't even know what this guy looks like.

[meiface.livejournal.com]

hahahaha the dude is irrelevant, just focus on the PANDAS.

And the hot guy in the suit is Xabi Alonso, flawless specimen of GQMF. Spanish footballer. I COULD GO ON. But you should just look at pictures of him because ugh so so easy on the eyes, whether in a football jersey or a suit or even casual wear.

[2naonh3-cl2.livejournal.com]

1) I may have snorted into my coffee, reading that article. Wow...I may have had to scroll back up to see if the writer was a girl...oops. :/ I have no words.

2) PANDAS. I'm surprised. You didn't add the dumbass bit about him trying to play with his friends again and screwing himself up, even more. Is there a car accident!panda gif anywhere? :P

3) Is it tragic that my two objections to Kaner's suit were the fact that he'd unbuttoned and his hands were in his pockets? Ruining the line of the pants!!!! NOOOOOO. I thought it was a good color for him and he totally has the personality to work a slightly off kilter suit design/color. Also, the collar was a little smushed under his blazer. Boooooo. In conclusion, Kaner's suit is nice, he just needs to know how to treat it better. Then again, he's like 12, and I don't know many 12 year olds who know how to treat a nice suit well. :/ Life!fail Kaner. :(

[meiface.livejournal.com]

HAHAHA IT WAS SUCH A JIZZING-ON-HIS-FACE ARTICLE. SO STARRY-EYED IN LOVE.

Yeah, sorry, no panda could ever be as dumb. :( Pandas are cute!!

hahaha that was actually not the worst picture; I acknowledge that. If your eyes can bear it, just google "Patrick Kane suit".

Mmm Jeff('s ass) in a suit. :9

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

UGH THE PENS-FLYERS SERIES IS GOING TO KILL ME I LOVE IT

[meiface.livejournal.com]

I LOVE THIS SERIES IT'S SO EXCITING

DID YOU SEE HOW IT WAS 3-1

THEN 3-3 FOR 6 SECONDS

NOW 4-3 AHHHHHH

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

AND NOW IT'S 4-4

by far the most exciting series rn in my opinion

SO INTENSE

[meiface.livejournal.com]

TOTALLY AGREED. I LOVE THIS SERIES. I LOVE THIS GAME.

PUSH CROSBY OVER ALL THE TIME!! :D

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

5-5 AND THE THIRD PERIOD JUST STARTED

I CANNOT EVEN

CANNOT

EVEN

[meiface.livejournal.com]

SO AMAZING SO AMAZING!!!

TWO FLYERS COMEBACK WINS ON PENS HOME ICE

NEXT TWO GAMES IN PHILLY TOO

WILL THE PENS WIN THOSE??

WILL THE FLYERS SWEEP??

[sweetcherrytree.livejournal.com]

SO MUCH ANTICIPATIONNNN

UGH PENS

SO MUCH FLAILING AT THE END