meitachi | and then they ran through a field of golden feelings

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and then they ran through a field of golden feelings

There has been good hockey this weekend (YAY FLYERS, CLAUDE GIROUX I AM SO GENUINELY IMPRESSED BY YOU, SIDNEY CROSBY FEEL FREE TO CRY A MILLION BITTER TEARS P.S. GO CAPS, FUCK YOU SEGS) but it's cold and rainy out and I'm tired and feeling meh and I need ridiculous fluff and warm fuzzy feelings, preferably in the form of Kaner/Tazer because, guh, despite shitty hockey aside, they've been really, really hot recently. Maybe I just like them sweaty, flushed, pissed, and intense on ice?

forochel helped by writing SUPER PRECIOUS TINY HEDGEHOG!KANER FIC AT ME. IT IS MADE OF ADORABLE.

But I was still whiny and needy, so I chatficced at her until I accidentally produced KANER AND TAZER ON A CAMPING DATE IN CANADA...which eventually devolved into a bunch of schmoop. So be warned.

Inspired by pictures like these as shared by

honeyrue, who is a source of amazing Tazer pics because she clearly stalks him backwards through time with a high-zoom camera. :D We appreciate her work.

meiface: they should go on a beach date or something and tease each other and throw things at each other
and get wet on waterskis
and tazer tries to tell kaner why fishing is so great
and kaner is like sorry i'm a civilized american and not like a canadian mountain man like you
and there is arguing but affectionate arguing over stupid stuff like who has to make dinner and BFFery
and CUDDLING

forochel: (kaner) though waterskiing is pretty great

meiface: yess be DUMB BOYS
WHO ARE DUMB JOCKS
but who clearly like each other

forochel (kaner) I'll give you water skiing
and then johnny's like
I WILL SLAP YOU WITH THIS FISH

meiface: hee

forochel but in a non-D/sy way
like

meiface: kaner's all WHY DO ALL CANADIANS HAVE THIS WEIRD LOVE OF FISH???
you weirdos

forochel: in a jokey dudebro way

meiface: yess

forochel: and then he does slap kaner with the fish

meiface: but then kaner makes tazer gut the fish
and clean it so they can cook it over a fire and eat it

forochel: omg and then they make a pit

meiface: bc they're camping or whatever

forochel: and rub it with butter and herbs
and roast it
and it is DELICIOUS
/distracted by food
"dude," kaner says. "this is pretty good fish."
they lie back in their deck chairs and stare up at the starry sky, burping occasionally.

meiface: but they only think this is a manly bffer bonding trip
because i always want repressed UST
AND AWKWARD CUDDLING/WAKING UP TO MORNING WOOD

forochel: I THOUGHT YOU WANTED FLUFFY FIC MEI

meiface: IT IS FLUFFY
BC THEY ARE NOT ANGSTING ABOUT IT

forochel: DUDEBROS WHO ALSO MAKE OUT FIC

meiface: they're having a good time!!
MAYBE THEY CAN MAKE OUT ANYWAY

forochel: THEY'RE CAMPING BY LAKE TOEWS
hahahaha

forochel: rolling over on the raft they have built
and pulling tazer in by his ridiculous floofy hair and kissing him

meiface: and just be all casual
and not like oh God Big Deal
All These Feelings

meiface: and they have those inflatable rafts too!!!
and they splash each other and try to knock each other out of them
into the water
and then kissing yess lots of kissing
laughing in the water, kaner grabbing tazer's stupid wet hair
and then there is some groping underwater
and they harass each other some more

forochel: kaner tries to make tazer reenact that the notebook scene
for lols
but tazer falls over when kaner jumps on him shrieking
and they go toppling into the water
and tazer's like
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU BRO
and kaner's like
YOU'RE RYAN GOSLING
I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU
and tazer's like
shut up you're so brain damaged, rolling his eyes, but he kisses him anyway

meiface: alskdfj
and they're cracking up at each other
kaner's like WHATEVER I HOPE YOU GET EATEN BY A SHARK
tazer's like...we're in a lake...
in the middle of canada.......
and kaner's like LOLOL MAYBE I MEANT ONE OF THE SAN JOSE SHARKS
DID YOU THINK ABOUT THAT
tazer's all "so you want me to sleep w/ (insert sharks player here)"
kaner's like YEAH MAYBE YOU SHOULD IT WOULD BE HOT
I'D RECORD IT
SELL IT TO DEADSPIN
MAKE MILLIONS
CAPTAIN SERIOUS'S LEAKED SEX TAPE

forochel: tazer would be like
no you'd just accidentally end up taping the ceiling
for the entire time

meiface: kaner's like, yeah whatever, only bc i totally join you in your sex and make it awesomer
and tazer grabs his ass under the water and like, pinches a bit and kaner maybe flails and shrieks a little
and they go back to splashing each other like the super mature dudes they are
before finally fetching their inflatable rafts, which have drifted towards the shore
and they fall into a comfortable silence as they sort of squelch back to their camp under the hot sun
and they just...hang out. like bros. and kaner makes them make smores and they sit around and drink some beer occasionally slapping at mosquitoes that kaner bitches about before making johnny go get him the bug spray
I HATE CANADA he says
right, says johnny, because there are no mosquitoes in america.

forochel: we have different mosquitoes
your mosquitoes are canadian
by default
they are terrible

meiface: they probably like terrible beer and weird accents, just like you
johnny just scoffs. there is no way to have shittier beer than america. you guys have coors lite
and that's sort of true but kaner just ignores it bc america's pride is at stake her and whatever, at least they don't live off maple syrup

forochel: also we have michael buble

meiface: YOUR MOSQUITOES PROBABLY SUCK MAPLE SYRUP INSTEAD OF BLOOD
and tazer is like, i cant' believe i'm having this conversation
and just keeps drinking, but he's totally laughing, bc he totally appreciates kaner's fine wit and humor

forochel: if our mosquitoes suck maple syrup instead of blood then they wouldn't be BITING US, DUMBASS

meiface: and secretly he probably enjoys all the canada jokes

forochel: probably
maybe he enjoys kaner jokes
more than he enjoys canada joke

meiface: (yes)
he only really doesn't mind the terrible canada jokes when they all come from kaner

meiface: i want accidental dating!
like
they're just bffs and super comfortable with each other and sometimes they make out, whatever
no one is pining for the other
but eventually they realize that they're, huh, dating
and that no one else comes first
and they sort of don't have that much interest in sleeping w/ other people bc it's just more fun to hang out w/ each other
(although kaner still likes a good party and tazer secretly does too - he's not that serious)

forochel: see: drunk pictures

meiface: but it's nicer to just go home together than to have to worry about other people or if she might have a camera or whatever
plus tazer just knows kaner's body and his habits and all that; none of that first-date awkwardness or the "will she think my apartment's too boring/messy?" anxiety

forochel: this is true
it's convenient!

meiface: yes! that's all it is

forochel: wait what about the feels
I like feels though

meiface: it just makes sense, tazer tells himself, plus kaner is just -
great
like he's totally matured since he was a rookie and johnny appreciates that
and he's sooooooooooo good at hockey
they just
think each other are super
despite all their ragging on each other

meiface: johnny thinks kaner's one of the BEST nhl players ever EVERRR

forochel: slgjsdg they're just bros, ok. they're bros and hos for each other

meiface: even though obvsly he still has things to work on/sometimes struggles and it's johnny's captainly duty to point that shit out
but yeah, johnny will defend kaner to the rest of the world forever
and sometimes he gets unreasonably upset when the media is like questioning kaner's ability to produce and vice versa of course

forochel: he kind of trash-talks him as well though, sometimes. when the media is talking him up.
IT GOES BOTH WAYS

meiface: kaner jokes always about how tazer is the worst and he'd never wear his jersey
but kaner legit admires and respects johnny So Much
trusts him as captain implicitly
even though they scream at each other on the bench all the time
when it comes down to it, kaner can't imagine anyone else as captain, anyone else who'd try as hard and care as much and whom kaner would trust as much

forochel: johnny is going to be one of the greats of all time
<--actual quote

meiface: and johnny is just...god
such an annoyingly great person
yes <3
and kaner razzes on him bc SERIOUSLY ANNOYING but he loves it
ugh they are just
so stupidly in love
bros and hos, totally
and everyone else either sees it like it really is (like sharpy)
or don't see it at all and think they're just Really Great Friends (like all the rookies) but who envy them their bond
but the thing is kaner and tazer don't really understand just yet how it's, you know, just them. no one else. probably forever.
kaner realizes this one day, idk how, but just like...it dawns on him. not even like a bolt of lightning or anything
he just thinks, hey, so, johnny might get married one day or something
and he realizes it wouldn't change how he feels about johnny
he just can't imagine it changing how johnny feels either
it's incomprehensible to him that a wife might change their dynamics, that she might be More Important (except he doesn't make that hierarchical distinction in his head bc he just...can't imagine it)
and he thinks about if he'd ever get a wife
or whatever
and he just...can't imagine that it would change anything either because if she couldn't understand how important johnny was to him, how he's different from everyone else in his life, not just like, a teammate or a friend, then she wouldn't be someone he'd marry anyway
kaner's not really thinking about marriage for real anyway; he's young, dude
he's not ready to settle down
he kind of likes his life just as it is right now, hockey and johnny
soooooooo yes kaner's just like, okay, yeah, no huge angst about that
sort of settles into that
but johnny's sort of coming to the same realization
except they don't Talk about it

forochel: lol I love how his definition of a wife is this fundamentally sexist conception of an accessory to his life
(sozz to bring the srs bznz, but it is entirely likely)

meiface: so they don't realize they've both sort of conceded to themselves that the other is always going to be The One

forochel: (and I genuinely do mean I love it, in terms of characterisation)

meiface: (yeah they totally kind of see it that way though? i feel like?)
BUT ANYWAY

forochel (yes definitely agree, so I'm glad to see it written that way.)

meiface: so they're just like, dating each other and already acknowledged each other as the only one for them, but not aloud and not to each other or to other people

forochel: I love how this is just blooming slowly
like an ivysaur blooming into an venasaur

meiface: lmaooo ty
great analogy
which, you know, sometimes they play pokemon too

forochel: HAHAHAHAHA
ACE A+++++

meiface: bc kaner thinks pikachu is cute
he likes the chicklike things, remember? tazer totally remembers.
makes fun of him for it.

forochel: okay stop me before I write pikaner and charizer fic

meiface: but kaner totally makes him admit that he likes charmander so HAH. whatever.
bc charmander's adorable too, kaner can admit it, but pikachu's got spunk.
he's like a little ball of rage, kaner explains
yeah, you'd like that, tazer says with a half-grin. wouldn't you, kaner?
so obviously the only thing kaner can do then is just kick him
kaner kicks him, they wrestle
kaner manages to pin tazer

forochel: and then make out ??? :D:D

meiface: well first kaner shouts one of pikachu's attacks
which i totally don't remember
and while tazer's cracking up under him
kaner is just struck with how attractive tazer looks right then, guard totally down, relaxed and content, happy
and so he kisses him and you know - it's fine
it's what they do
and it's just warm and affectionate and always hot of course
but not in a needy desperate must-fuck-now kind of way
just really comfortable and really nice

forochel: in an affectionate sort of "hello, you crazy person" way

meiface: like kaner could just do this for a while and be happy
with johnny's body warm against his
and johnny's hands on him, one on his hip, one stroking gently across the small of his back
so yeah
kaner's totally gone for jonathan toews, he realizes sort of in the middle of making out with him
but it's sort of a nice feeling, a warm swell in his chest
and he maybe hides his smile against johnny's face as he kisses his jaw
feels the start of stubble prickling under his lips
and johnny just sighs against him, keeps stroking his back, kissing him back, no rush
and eventually they go back to the game and get food and a movie and trashtalk through it
and later that night they totally have sex, but it's kind of lazy sex
lazy and unhurried and full of kissing in between
and it makes kaner just...really happy. like, he doesn't think he could want anything more than this. he can't imagine ever having a life better than this
with a wife and kids and puppies or whatever
he's happy just to stay in this moment forever, with johnny biting gently at his lower lip, johnny's and cradling his face as he fucks into kaner slow and steady
and it's just one of the best days of kaner's life
they almost always involve johnny in some way, those kinds of days
and of course in the meantime johnny is just swimming in his own lake of affection for kaner
and tenderness
and contentedness
and he's still a little more fixed on the Right Path for his future that he's sort of always grown up expecting to happen
re: wife and kids and whatnot eventually
so while he's already admitted to himself that kaner's always going to be first for him, it takes him longer to figure out that maybe...maybe it's okay to not go down the expected path

forochel: and it won't be fair to any lady!
tazer's all about fairplay!

meiface: that maybe it's okay to just have this - the hockey, the camaraderie, the friendship and sex and the, god, the feelings
maybe it's okay for tazer to just not worry about the future for now and just enjoy this, every moment of this, and see where it takes him
bc yeah, he knows how shitty it would be to marry someone and not make her the most important thing in his life
he's seen sharpy w/ abby, duncs w/ his wife, etc. he knows how they light up. he knows that even hockey doesn't come first, doesn't stand a chance of coming first to them
family wins that by a mile
and johnny... he just doesn't want to think about that right now. because he has kaner right now and everything just feels right. and easy.
and maybe not everything has to be a fight, a struggle.

forochel: the venusaur of feeeeeliiiiingssss

meiface: so they have slow, kind of tender sex, and tazer kisses kaner's ear before he rolls off and discards the condom, gets a washcloth to clean them up.
and kaner sort of snuffles into the pillow bc he's totally one of those dudes that gets incredibly sleepy after sex, but it's kind of late anyway, so tazer just turns off the light and crawls into bed beside him
they don't exactly cuddle bc they wake up way too sweaty and hot if they do, but there's only maybe a foot, half a foot, of space between them
and johnny rests a light hand on kaner's bare waist, turning his head on the pillow to look at him in the dark.
he can just make out the sleepy curve of kaner's smile before kaner drifts of, his breathing evening out.
the rhythm settles johnny too, and he's asleep before he knows it

/flops

I just want all the schmooooooooooop. And antics. AND PRETEND BOYFRIENDS. ;__; Any pairing, really. ~~All the Eric/Jeff.~~

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(deleted comment)

WOMEN DESERVE MORE THAN THEY CAN GIVE.

But also I just wanted schmoopiness. :')

(deleted comment)

ALSO, BEING SLAPPED IN THE FACE WITH A FISH.

It's a Canadian expression of love, really.

I COULD ONLY READ HALF OF THIS BG THERE WERE SO MANY FEELINGS BUT THE HALF I READ WAS GR8

LOL GOD SOMETIMES I JUST WANT ALL THE FEELINGS EVERYWHERE, OKAY? I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE SCHMOOP.

I mean, fine, they'd probably be terrible with feelings but this is my reality; I reject yours and substitute my own! Briefly!

(deleted comment)

I mean, clearly all Canadian camping trips eventually devolve into endless schmoop, right? That's like the Canadian version of a romcom, right?

And Patrick Kane likes romcoms (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/29/sports/hockey/29seconds.html?_r=2).

(deleted comment)

HE'S SO GREAT.

But he's gonna need chick flicks and ice cream to get through this night. ;__;

when will fratboy au be done

THAT IS ALL I WANT AND NEED, MEI

NEVER. Ugh writing is the worst and life is exhausting right now. :(

On the bright side, I have magical powers! I knew I could will a fratboy AU into existence (http://archiveofourown.org/works/389463). :D And werewolf!Tazer scenting Kaner. (http://archiveofourown.org/works/389646) /win

I love how there is warm and aimless kissing and then lazy slow sex but there is also fish face-slaps and Kaner saying things like yeah whatever, only bc i totally join you in your sex and make it awesomer. :DDDD

Also, re

honeyrue being a source of amazing Tazer pics because she clearly stalks him backwards through time with a high-zoom camera: that is an excellent hypothesis, it is the only explanation for all these riches she is showering us with. &waterskiing!Tazer-thighs;

Their love is multi-layered and faceted, dude! It means they can totally be affectionate and fond while at the same time insulting everything about each other and slapping each other with fish. :D?

CANNOT PROCESS HOW ATTRACTIVE I FIND TAZER SOMETIMES. /quickly goes to stare at a picture of Estaal or Jeff Skinner until order is restored to my world

Seriously, she does a Great Deed.

omg so happy and feelingful and ahhhhhh i want to cuddle this like kaner cuddles tazer sometimes when he thinks tazer is already asleep but he's not and he's just really happy and cuddles back and they are all happy and ahhhh so happy making the grin on my face is ridiculous i love schmoooop *deep breath* i have too many feelings

..hedgehog kaner /o\ so cute /o\

Sometimes I just think they need a little break from the epic angst and emotional constipation and just go with the flow. Don't question it; just cuddle. :D And harass each other as they do.

I ALSO HAVE FEELINGS. I'M GLAD YOU UNDERSTAND. Schmoop is a balm for the soul sometimes. ;__; ♥

Yes. The angst is so good but... so tiring ;;; would not last through it all without the schmoop it is so necessary. They are so wonderfully absurd. Feelings feelings everywhereeeeeee /rolls in them

UGH FUCK YOU WHAT IS ALL THIS NONSENSE WHY ARE THERE FEELINGS EVERY WHERE WHY ARE THEIRFEELINGS EVERYWHERE I HAVE FEELINGS LEAKING OUT OF MY FUCKING EARS RIGHT NOW GOD MEI WTF ♥

In other news I waant to roll around and d'aw this in glee. i hate you.

I'M SORRY YOU HATE FEELINGS BUT SOMETIMES TAZER GETS THEM, YOU KNOW. HE BLAMES PATRICK. PATRICK'S LIKE, SORRY YOU'RE AN EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED CANADIAN. YOU PROBABLY HAVE MAPLE SYRUP IN YOUR VEINS THAT'S BLOCKING UP ALL YOUR ARTERIES. YOU'LL PROBABLY DIE OF A MAPLE-SYRUP INDUCED HEART ATTACK, HE ADDS SERIOUSLY. IT'LL BE TRAGIC. I WILL WEAR BLACK TO YOUR FUNERAL.

and then Tazer is like why do I even like you, you freak?

Because I'm the only thing that gets through your sticky emotional constipation, Kaner explains. You're welcome!

and then they throw things at each other and crack up and make out. :D

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LILLE DROWN IN FEELINGS YEAH THAT'S RIGHT (:D ♥)

I JUST WANT TO TAKE THIS NOT-FIC

AND CLUTCH IT TO MY CHEST

AND CUDDLE IT FOREVER

AND EVER

AND EVER

♥♥♥♥♥ >w

ROLL WITH IT IN BED ALL SLEEPY AND WARM

APPLAUDING.

WELL DONE.

GUH. ERIC STAAL APPROVES.

MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.

/makes pawing motions at his faaaaaaaaaaaace /is a complete disgrace

OF COURSE ESTAAL APPROVES. ESTAAL APPROVES OF ANYTHING THAT EVEN BRIEFLY MENTIONES JEFF/ERIC.

it's not a disgrace to make pawing motions at his face. i do it all the time.

It's not our fault he's so hot, right??

most certainly not. we cannot be held responsible for his genes.

...god, how will his son look? I feel like such a perv for saying that.

Um, he has Staal genes. Clone army genes! It can only be good. He's already got the blond and adorable bit down laskdfjd. It breaks me a little how adorable. ;__;

staal genes are the best /creep.

except marc's. no offense to him, but he looks so rectangular. does that make sense?

ESTAAL'S BABY HOLDS MY HEART. SOMETIMES I CAN EVEN CONVINCE MYSELF HE'S JEFF'S BABY TOO BECAUSE HE'S SO ADORABLE.

When I get overwhelmed by those feelings, I just go reread babysitter Jeff or the mpreg Jeff chatfic. *____*

THOSE ARE THE BEST, YES.

AND RUNAWAY JEFF.

*________________________________*

YES.

Man, how badly do I want a pretend boyfriends fic for Eric/Jeff? SO BADLY. I am just going directing thought rays at all the writers I know (or even don't know) until it exists through the force of my wanting.

ME TOO.

WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN THROUGH THE POWER OF OUR WANTING. AND GIFS AND PICSPAMS.

SHMOOOOOOP

WE NEED IT.

ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS NIGHT.

SIGH.

SAD SCHMOOPY SEX AND CUDDLING YES PLEASE.

This sentence:

YAY FLYERS, CLAUDE GIROUX I AM SO GENUINELY IMPRESSED BY YOU, SIDNEY CROSBY FEEL FREE TO CRY A MILLION BITTER TEARS P.S. GO CAPS, FUCK YOU SEGS

makes me D: and :D at the same time. STOP CONFUSING ME, MEI.

WELL CLEARLY YOU SHOULD JOIN MY SUPPORT OF THE FLYERS AND THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE CONFUSED.

I do love Sidney though and I am sad for him. But not as sad as I am for the Hawks. ;_; Did you see Tazer and Kaner tonight? ;___;

WOWOW I GLADLY OFFER ALL THE STALKING, BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS THROUGH SPACETIME FOR MORE OF THIS MAGIC. ALL OF THE FUTURE PICTURES I DIG UP OF TAZER IN PLAID SHORTS, THEY ARE YOURS FOREVER.

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, CONSIDERING WHAT A SHITSHOW THIS DAY HAS BEEN, HOCKEYWISE, READING THIS POST WAS AN ABSOLUTE A+ DELIGHT, AND I THANK YOU ♥♥

They are stupidly in love and just don't realize it yet. IT'S OKAY. They just slap each other with fish and then eat fish and complain about mosquitoes and sometimes sleep with each other but that's way incidental to how BFF they are. :D

And sometimes Kaner mocks Tazer's love of plaid, but Tazer can always point out that at least his suits fit.

All I want out of this fandom is PRETEND BOYFRIENDS, I'm not gonna lie, but until I will that into existence, I will settle for lots of cuddling. ♥

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and then they ran through a field of golden feelings

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