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News at 11: entitled white boys act like entitled white boys

Reconstructing Patrick Kane’s Drunken Weekend In Madison, With Eyewitness Testimony

So when I first read about his drunken shenanigans in Madison in the previous post, I thought he was a walking embarrassment but in that terrible but hilarious way. Drunken belligerence and so sloppy wasted you're kind of pathetic? I get it. It happens. You're young, rich, and stupid.

Numerous eyewitness accounts confirming your casual douchebaggery towards women, though? Insulting and objectifying them like they're completely interchangeable, replaceable, disposable? You don't do this shit drunk unless it's an attitude you've already harbored while sober.

I'm great at compartmentalizing! It's why RPF has never bothered me. But it's also why it's easy to forget that while I can enjoy a lot of douchebags falling in love in fictional narratives, I don't actually like that level of shittiness in people in real life. Yeah, a lot of it's the product of his position, of the way society has socialized him and practically expects this level of entitled behavior from its big sports celebs. Doesn't make it okay.

I forget that these NHL stars (much like idols in Korean entertainment industry, which is maybe a weird analogy to draw but go with me here) have grown up in a kind of bubble where they're not exposed to the kind of diversity of thoughts and cultures and attitudes that might actually challenge them into critically thinking about the way society lets them get away with bullshit because they're famous/they have money/insert reason of choice. They aren't forced to reexamine the presumptions and assumptions and the values they've grown up with or grown into. Isn't this part of why studies have linked higher education levels with, in essence, less inclination to be a close-minded bigot?

Maybe the worst part for me is that obviously Kaner has a lot going for him; obviously he can be a good person, loves his family, good with kids, etc. But I think that just makes me madder because it's like, way to waste your potential of being a good person to instead be a shitty person. It's also reaffirmed for me how much easier it is to be a "good person" than it is to not treat women like shit.

I'm also now side-eyeing every player I ever liked. WHO KNOWS WHAT ATTITUDES THEY'RE HIDING BEHIND THE AWESOME HOCKEY/ADORABLE MOMENTS.

Yeah, so. My bad. Fandom is my bubble from real life and with RPF in general sometimes I forget and get rude awakenings.

I think I'm going to go watch some videos of Danny Briere with his kids. Or David Backes saving dogs. Or Jeff Skinner giggling about how great Jonathan Toews is.

Also, Claude Giroux is a fly motherfucker who wears a terrible plaid suit well. I am full of so many overwhelming feelings for the Flyers, dude. And the Caps. Congrats, Holtby, on tiny Holtby's birth! Go, go Game 7! (Even if Eric Staal is the greatest older brother ever who almost makes me want to root for the Rangers. Almost. More importantly: HE'S STILL IN NC. WITH LESSER STAAL. I'M IN NC THIS WEEKEND HEYYYY.)

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No, I agree with you too. :( I'm like GODDAMMIT, REALITY, STOP INTRUDING. And then I promptly go, oh right, because your need for fandom escapism trumps shit that is important in real life? It doesn't. :( But such are the travails of RPF fandoms. Real people with real attitudes and actions with real world consequences...

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I can't believe I haven't seen that Jeff Skinner video before???

Yeah. Ngl, I have been squinting at the Staals all judgmental like YOU GREW UP ON A FARM IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE HIDING but I remain tentatively hopeful through what I have seen thus far. Drunk and disorderly I'm down with. Misogyny, et. al.? Not so much.

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Have you seen this this awesome and unlikely hockey goal (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dmi8CR2sxXA&feature=fvst) by Bobby Ryan? ♥ ILU BOBBY RYAN.

Also the tour of his empty furniture-less summer house in Idaho, lol.

Or playing pond hockey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxTaxv2VjYw&feature=results_video&playnext=1&list=PL347D5FDCC7E1B309).

Ugh so much Getzy/Bobby porn yes please.

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BOBBY RYAN AND CATS!!!

/rereads hooker AU

/rereads stepbrothers AU

/reads Bobby Ryan's twitter, is forever perplexed by hockey players' love of golf, and also judging him for this tweet (https://twitter.com/#!/b_ryan9/status/182541599832674304)

I am all sorts of torn over what happened, but my ultimate conclusion is that Kaner needs some sensitivity training. Or diversity training. Also probably to cut out the drinking until he can stop with the shitty behavior while drunk. If he cuts that out I don't care if he drinks, but only if he stops the misogyny. I absolutely believe he would flip out if a guy treated one of his sisters like he was treating girls that weekend. At some point he will hopefully make the connection that he should treat women the way he wants his sisters treated. Its sad that he needs a connection like that to grasp the concept of respecting women, but I will take whatever works at this point.

I absolutely believe he would flip out if a guy treated one of his sisters like he was treating girls that weekend.

I honestly cannot comprehend how he hasn't yet figured this out. Or if it's just one of those things where it's different when it's you doing it versus other people doing it because of all the rationalization/justification you can make in your own head to excuse your own behavior. Which wouldn't surprise me but. Idk.

The whole thing makes me angry/disappointed but also sad because, god, people, Patrick Kane - grow the fuck up. These kinds of attitudes destroy whatever semblance of actually being a "good person" there is. And I forget that outside of my own bubble, wider mainstream society is way more accepting of it.

What bothers me most about the whole situation is how if Kaner weren't semi-famous, no one would care. No one would care about a 23 year old who put his hands on a woman at a frat party or treated women in other deplorable ways.

Just from my own experiences with frat houses and frat parties, it's as though the title frat party gives guys permission to throw off socially accepted means of behavior and behave like entitled douches, and by entering the frat party women have signed an implicit contract to accept the douchey behavior, play along with it or at the very least ignore it.

I don't expect my sports stars to be role models; generally I expect the opposite. At the same time, barring the alleged choking incident, Kane isn't acting different than thousands of college age boys across the country. If I am hating on him, I gotta hate on them too. And god, I just don't have the energy for that. I don't think its right for me to take my anger about shitty college boys in general out on Kane, but if I don't, those boys may not ever get the message that their behavior just isn't ok. And I have now talked myself pretty well full circle. I'm disappointed in Kaner, I'm disappointed in myself for expecting more from him, and I'm pissed that expecting more out of boys in general is too much to ask for.

I really am more angry about society in general than I am at Kane in particular, because he really isn't doing much more than acting in a way that gets a lot of guys smiles and pats on the head and comments like boys will be boys.

Sorry for dumping this all over your journal in a less than coherent way; I apparently have a lot more feelings about the situation than I thought I had.

No, don't feel bad - I like your thoughts! I agree with them. He's getting all this attention for shitty behavior because he's a Name, but like you said - almost everything he's done is all pretty typical behavior across college campuses by other guys, and they don't get called out or put under a microscope about it. But it's not like what they're doing is any more okay just because they're not semi-famous.

That said, I almost have some hope that those guys will eventually get sense slapped into them by dint of being exposed to a diverse environment of people, including people who will call them out on their shit. Whereas for celebs like Kaner, it's less likely - not only the status and fame that makes people less likely to criticize certain behaviors (in fact, there are certain expectations almost of behaviors like this?), but the fact that his profession kind of puts him in isolation of the people who would tell him this shit isn't okay.

But I may be underestimating the awesomeness of people in his life. Maybe they have called him out already on his attitudes and behavior? ...I don't know if that would make it better or worse.

Ugh, yeah, if I get too big picture about society, I just get too mad/disheartened to be useful. It's so frustrating though.

Kane absolutely needs a wakeup call, but I'm just not sure who it could come from. His friends are a clear no go, I can't imagine his family hasn't said something that just hasn't gotten through to him (and he's still at an age where the kneejerk reaction to parental advice is to do the opposite.), I don't think Tazer's old enough for this kind of message, the Hawks organization has a terrible track record with alcoholic and misogynistic stars, and I just don't know. Maybe some older teammates or teammates' wives? Even then, who will he listen to?

I've spent a bunch of time daydreaming about a girl!Tazer universe, mostly about her and her bro Oshie, and hooking up with hockey players over the summer and pining over Kaner, who has a type that is not her. And now I just keep circling back to girl!Tazer's reactions to all this. I have visions of her being angry and disappointed (gee I wonder why?), breaking things, and spending the summer on a quest to get over him. Or her avoiding him as much as possible, because the comfort level being around someone who has been accused of choking another woman, and just general misogyny would not be high.

Huh, yeah, I forget sometimes that he's even younger than me and that the number's really just a number, because in terms of life experiences and life lessons...we've had very different ones.

That's the thing, though - a lot of us will eventually be forced to get wake-up calls. Will he? Who knows.

Girl Tazer deserves better. :( But everything about them makes me sad right now so I'm going to go watch Jeff Skinner be deliciously adorable and so damn earnest and polite and respectful of women despite the best intentions of the jackass running the show. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-pXBR9ed_I)

Thanks for saying this, babe. Part of the reason I took myself off of the hockey thread was because I knew that many people would try to defend Patrick Kane - his actions, his words, that t-shirt. The thing is, I'm still capable of enjoying fanon!Kaner (who, let's face it, never bore that much resemblance to Patrick Kane the person). But Patrick Kane the hockey player? Doesn't get my love anymore.

Fanon!Kaner is great! Because it's all fictional and I know it. RL!Kaner had his moments too, which is why this is just...not actually that surprising, but disappointing nonetheless. Basically, shitty behavior is shitty behavior and it's inexcusable even if it's from someone I like. Especially if it's reflective of a much bigger problem - the overall attitude at the root of this behavior.

ANYWAY. I currently want lots of Mike Green/Brooks Laich, Ovie/Sasha, Danny/Claude, Bobby/Getzy, etc etc etc. So. /non-Kaner distractions

Yeeaaah, I'm just kind of like "oh, Patrick Kane, glad I write about the fictional version of you." clueless douches gonna cluelessly douche, I guess.

I enjoy fictional douches! It works out.

Ugh, actual Kaner is making me sad. I agree with everything you say about it. And I appreciate your links to more joyful things!

I am all about sharing joyful things! You may also enjoy this article (http://www.anaheimcalling.com/2012/5/6/3003122/anaheim-Ducks-Los-Angeles-Kings-Western-conference-Finals-2012-nhl-playoffs) by a bitter Anaheim Ducks fan about the LA Kings bandwagon, because it's hilarious.

Ha! That is hilarious.

Hahahaha, I had the same thought about Giroux! I was like, that is an ugly suit...that he is somehow making work.

You hit the nail on the head in terms of the issues of lack of education/living in a protective bubble. I think the most important thing I've learned, over the years as a sports fan, is to not get attached to the idea of a player being a good guy. Not because a lot of them aren't, but for exactly the reason you gave. Professional athletes are not the most educated people, they have not spent the vast majority of their time dealing with diversity or being held accountable for anything besides winning a game. They can be very good people, but even if they are it doesn't mean they aren't also pretty ignorant about so much. I always get the feeling that I wouldn't want to hang with even the players I love, so I just love them from afar and cheer for them and hope I never run into any of them and end up having a political discussion or something horrific like that. And if they've done something I really can't forgive, then I stop even cheering from afar. Like my Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, Michael Vick. I cheer for the Eagles, but I do not cheer for the dog killer. And, of course, that line is different for everyone.

I was just thinking the other day that I wanted to read some Ovie/Sasha, but I don't know where to start looking. Any recommendations?

It makes my heart sad, but my brain knows it's true. In a lot of ways, sports fandom even without this RPF element is just like any other fandom - we have to know where to draw our own lines with what we're okay being fannish over and what we're not. How do you separate the misogyny from a show? How do you separate the actions from the people? Etc. Sometimes we can't.

On the bright side, it brings home a little more how the people supporting the You Can Play campaign deserve a lot of respect. (I, uh, may have shed a tear or two over those vids and Unscripted statements.) (Also, fucking G. I am so into him right now.)

As for Ovie/Sasha, it's like none exists. :(

There is this chatfic (http://impertinence.livejournal.com/602755.html) and they are a secondary pairing in this awesome Mike Green/everyone fic (http://archiveofourown.org/works/373827). That's basically all I've stumbled across. I'm here trying to will more into existence with the power of my desire, lol.

we have to know where to draw our own lines with what we're okay being fannish over and what we're not. How do you separate the misogyny from a show? How do you separate the actions from the people? Etc. Sometimes we can't.

So, so true. :(

it brings home a little more how the people supporting the You Can Play campaign deserve a lot of respect.

They absolutely do. I was ecstatic when that campaign started and pledged to never talk shit about any player who is a part of it. And that is hard sometimes, because I hate some of their teams, but I am sticking with it because I love them so much for doing it (just them though, I'll still make fun of their teams). Including that Giroux kid who I AM SO INTO TOO. :)

Haha, I will join you in trying to will more Ovie/Sasha into existence. Thanks for the links.

I was trying to look for Toews gear for my friend and couldn't help noticing the sheer number of Kaner jerseys / shirts there are on the rack as compared to everyone else...

He's the face of the Hawks organization. :( He's what makes them popular. He's good with fans, with putting on a show, and has got the skills to back it up.

I wanted a Kaner shirt. That's, uh, on hold indefinitely.

I should post more about how Claude Giroux makes me *___*.

ARE YOU IN CHICAGO?

Giroux's suit was pretty terrible, it's true. I also have quite a lot of Flyers feelings. I feel for them, but they were outplayed.

OMG Eric article. He and Jordan watched the game together! He is so proud! I wonder if Jordan is down there because of the rumours that he might be traded to the Canes ... anyway. Staals. <3

I uh admit I am going for the Rangers tomorrow, but I will feel for Holtby and Ovie if they lose. :(

I am always excited when other people have Flyers feelings too. *__* Possibly everyone I know just has feelings for the Pens, and while I have feelings too, they are mostly of the "FALL OVER AND CRY BITTER TEARS" feelings. Of love. Really!

I love lesser Staal but idk if I want him on the Canes. /o\ We need wings more than we need centers, even if it would entertain me highly if Staal passed to Staal or Staal assisted Staal for a goal... Staals. :D

This game tonight really could go either way, but NY does have MSG advantage... Nerve-wracking!

I really like Geno and lesser Staal but yeah, that pretty much sums up my Pens feelings too. ;)

That is true, but I was reading something that suggested the Canes have enough $ to chase both a wing and maybe get Jordan? I must admit cap math is something I haven't quite grasped as a new hockey fan but I do find reading about it interesting.

I've heard that too! Though of course it's all speculation at this point since we're not even sure who will be a free agent this year much less next year, when Lesser Staal's contract is set to (maybe) expire.

This is a pretty good speculation post (http://www.canescountry.com/2012/5/10/3012917/unrestricted-free-agents-the-atlantic-division) about unrestricted free agents and how they might fit in with the Canes.

Agh, I was linked to the article before, but I couldn't bring myself to actually read it. I hate how he has so much potential to be a good dude but he just aaaaghhghghggh and he's so hard to hate on the ice but off the ice it's like every other thing makes me want to punch him. Thank God Ebs is such a great person or I would cry. Idk, most of the dudes I like seem pretty chill, don't end up all over the drunk hockey players tumblr (http://drunkhockeyplayers.tumblr.com/) all the time and don't have tweets that make me want to punch them in the face, like Paul Bissonnette.

But I always end up thinking about how almost all of them come into the NHL as 18 year olds straight out of the minor leagues, leave their moms and dads when they're 15, and I always wonder how that affected how they act today and stuff IDK I SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WONDERING ABOUT THESE PEOPLE'S LIVES. LIKE HOW THEIR CHILDREN FEEL ABOUT THEIR CAREERS AND THINGS I DON'T KNOWWWW this is a weird comment so I'll end it here.

ALTHOUGH, I meant to add this to the end of the other comment I sent you, IS IT OKAY TO SHIP JEFF SKINNER AND RYAN NUGENT-HOPKINS YET BECAUSE NOW THEY'RE PLAYING TOGETHER AND WHO KNOWS HOW MUCH INTERACTION THEY ACTUALLY HAVE BUT ROOKIES!! IF THERE IS RNH/SHAWSY FIC OUT THERE THERE HAS TO BE SOME SKINNER/RNH.

Okay too much caps lock, cutting myself off ~

ALTHOUGH, NOT THAT BEING ON THE DRUNK HOCKEY PLAYERS BLOG IS A BAD THING. Because I think most of the players party it up quite a bit anyway (WHICH MADE ME THINK IF THEY DO IT BECAUSE HOCKEY CONSUMED THEIR LIVES SO MUCH WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER??) and where else would we get that really amusing picture of Ovechkin, like really?

Now that a few days have passed, I'm just really depressed by it. By Kaner, specifically, but also by society and how commonplace these kinds of attitudes are. It really does make me jaded and suspicious about every "adorable" or "great" person I know, or celeb I like. I try to take some reassurance from the fact that there do seem to be genuinely great people, Jeff Skinner and Jordan Eberle among them. And Giroux. Oh G.

Yeah I agree with you that drunk and stupid, I don't mind - it can be hilarious. And I've been drunk and stupid. But drunk, stupid and misogynistic? Not okay. Even if there's a reason for how dumb and unsocialized they are, that still doesn't make it okay. :(

Ugh, idk, I'm just in a sad place right now. I think I need to go read some non-hockey stuff.

Aw, yeah, I know what you mean. I go through times when I just hate people and times when I think everyone is actually good deep inside if they just understood situations better, and that's one thing I'm always cautious about when meeting new people, whether they're actually genuine or not ): celebrity-wise it's especially difficult, because the persona they take on in front of cameras is almost never how they are in real life, but there's not much you can do about it except support them for their work...

Either way, I hope you get to a happy place soon enough! Have some Jo Kwon, just because I was looking him up today and he made me smile (:

Aww thank you bb! My happy place right now is whenparentstext.com - hilarious. :D

LOL RANDOMLY JUMPING IN B?C RNH/SKINNER!! I think it can't work because they're like basicallyt he same person *-* only Ryan is really awkward and kinda shy and Jeff is fiesty and giggly... But did you know Shaw is friends with Hall from way back when?!

FUNNY STORY, I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THE JORDAN EBERLE TAG ON TUMBLR AND I SAW YOU AND I SAW YOUR LJ EBS LOVE POST AND I LOVE YOU FOR LOVING EBS BECAUSE ASDFLJKSALDF HE'S SO GREAT OKAY

BUT IT WOULD TOTALLY WORK, because on ice Nuge is totally composed and collected most of the time while Jeff is actually a ball of rage, and irl Nuge is all bland while Jeff has problems controlling his face when he is happy, and it's just so hard to find a pic of Nuge actually grinning while basically every other picture of Jeff is like HI YES I AM HAPPY CAN YOU TELL so Jeff should spread the happy to Nuge while Nuge attempts to teach Jeff how to not be angry somehow, IDK I DIDN'T THINK IT THROUGH I WAS JUST LIKE 2 OF MY FAVORITE HOCKEY PLAYERS UNDER 20, OKAY LET'S PUT THEM TOGETHER YES and NO I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ASKDLFJALSF I LOVE WHEN HOCKEY PLAYERS FROM DIFFERENT TEAMS ARE FRIENDS

OMG YOU SHOULD TALK TO ME MORE ON THAT POST ABOUT ALL YOUR JORDAN EBERLE FEELINGS BECAUSE HAVING JORDAN EBERLE FEELINGS IS LIKE THE MOST MAGNIFICENT THING EVER ♥

That's like amazing. I need that to happen. It's so true! Nuge needs to smile more and Jeff is like all giggles and how can you not smile with him but Nuge is also so fucking THINKY on ice and Jeff is all the FEELS and it gets him in trouble - a lot. Obviously they should do this through sex. That's the answer to every teaching method, kay.

SPEAKING OF HOCKEY PLAYERS FROM DIFFERENT TEAMS BEING FRIENDS: Jeff and Gabriel Landeskog played together on the Rangers and are Gabe tweeted about being excited to play against Jeff (and I assume interact with him at worlds?) and Gabe and Nuge bonded at the NHL Combine! (http://video.oilers.nhl.com/videocenter/console?catid=4&id=131209) (Also in the video Gabe talks about being friends with Nuge but he -FREUDIAN SLIP?! - says "we became pretty good fu-..friends" FU. AS IN FUCK BUDDIES??? BECAUSE I WOULD SHIP THAT SO HARD.

I WILL WHEN I HAVE MORE TIME, TODAY I HAVE TO HURRY ))): BUT YES EBERLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Ughh yes I was like, the obvious solution is for me to write what I want but I don't want to read my own writing because everything I write gets transformed into a high school AU?? But whatever, hopefully I can talk someone else into writing it ~

AAAGH I KNOW AND THEN THIS TWEET HAPPENED:

GAAAAAAAAAAABE WHAT A FAKE SWEDE BUT I LOVE HIM AND HIM AND NUGE!! So many feelings over their friendship, especially since they're both up for the Calder! They're both the type of people who would hope the other wins... ButIjustreallywantNugetowinidkIjustreallyliketheOilers!!! Also, it actually sounded like he was going to say "fun" like FUN BUDDIES or HE IS A LOT OF FUN but ughh I still ship it, there is a smattering of fic out there for those two and it's all really short but really sweet (:

IDK I JUST SHIP ALL THE THINGS

You already know my many many thoughts about this but I love reading this post because you put yours so eloquently ♥ and then link to the good stuff.

lol I was tempted to just post our chatlog of rage/severe disappointment, but I figured once in a while I should attempt to...string real sentences together...

And I'm pretty sure I've already linked you to all of the things above but THEY ALL MERIT REWATCHES. Good things; good people. ♥

lol. our chat log is really really long. and there is no such thing as grammar or capitals.

REWATCH FOREVER FOR HAPPINESS POSTERITY. ;-;

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News at 11: entitled white boys act like entitled white boys

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