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these are teachable moments, they say, but how good a teacher am I?
Just sent my brother a really awkward but necessary email about the Steubenville case & rape culture & sex in general. Reading about the details of the case and ensuing trial and commentary in the media just makes me really, really angry, and really, really sad. There is so much about the culture, about society's perceptions and words and actions, that need to be addressed.
I hope I can do a little with the people in my life, even if it's just with my brother. Better I send an awkward email than to never say anything at all - and certainly our parents won't be in my place. Better to make sure and reinforce the important points, even though I'm fairly sure they're not issues I have to worry about with him. Still: awkward as it might be, I also want to open that dialogue and let him know he can talk to me about topics that might be uncomfortable due to being siblings, being 9 years apart, being Asian, being of opposite gender, whatever. I'd rather he tell me things so I can help him be safer & smarter about his life choices, rather than hide things and have to learn completely on his own. I'd like to think I did okay on my own, but hey, if he has an older sibling, I might as well be useful, right?
Surprisingly, reddit's reactions about Steubenville have been heartening. Despite the good things, part of me is still pessimistic/upset because while this case garnered national media/social media attention and outrage, it's also the perfect storm of ridiculous aggravating factors and all the evidence on the victim's side. It just serves to remind me all the other thousands, tens of thousands, of cases that occur and don't get reported, much less prosecuted, or don't even get shared with friends, or don't receive support or don't get believed or --
But if I continue down that train of thought, I'll just get weighed down with how much I hate the world. I just - hope that no matter how upset I get about these things, I can manage to do, even in small part, something to help change things for the better, whether it's talking to someone about the topic, changing someone's mind, providing a perspective/voice/opinion, writing about it, donating, volunteering, etc.
Sometimes I read all the terrible things in the news of terrible things happening in the world - or I read comments, augh - and I feel helplessly trapped in my rage or dismay or whatever emotions I'm currently drowning in. Sometimes I don't know how to convert that into something productive, into action that would make a difference and also make me feel better, useful.
So. I'm trying to at least speak up in occasions where before I might just swallow my words and walk away. That doesn't mean I'm going to get into a fight with everyone on the internet, or even FB friends. But I know there will be times where I feel like it is worth the time and effort and the subsequent consequences, and I will.
I understand certain things now with a clarity that I didn't at 16; I have no idea how 16-year-old me would've taken advice from someone 9 years older, because that wasn't an opportunity I had. But I hope my brother will get something out of it.
I hope I can do a little with the people in my life, even if it's just with my brother. Better I send an awkward email than to never say anything at all - and certainly our parents won't be in my place. Better to make sure and reinforce the important points, even though I'm fairly sure they're not issues I have to worry about with him. Still: awkward as it might be, I also want to open that dialogue and let him know he can talk to me about topics that might be uncomfortable due to being siblings, being 9 years apart, being Asian, being of opposite gender, whatever. I'd rather he tell me things so I can help him be safer & smarter about his life choices, rather than hide things and have to learn completely on his own. I'd like to think I did okay on my own, but hey, if he has an older sibling, I might as well be useful, right?
Surprisingly, reddit's reactions about Steubenville have been heartening. Despite the good things, part of me is still pessimistic/upset because while this case garnered national media/social media attention and outrage, it's also the perfect storm of ridiculous aggravating factors and all the evidence on the victim's side. It just serves to remind me all the other thousands, tens of thousands, of cases that occur and don't get reported, much less prosecuted, or don't even get shared with friends, or don't receive support or don't get believed or --
But if I continue down that train of thought, I'll just get weighed down with how much I hate the world. I just - hope that no matter how upset I get about these things, I can manage to do, even in small part, something to help change things for the better, whether it's talking to someone about the topic, changing someone's mind, providing a perspective/voice/opinion, writing about it, donating, volunteering, etc.
Sometimes I read all the terrible things in the news of terrible things happening in the world - or I read comments, augh - and I feel helplessly trapped in my rage or dismay or whatever emotions I'm currently drowning in. Sometimes I don't know how to convert that into something productive, into action that would make a difference and also make me feel better, useful.
So. I'm trying to at least speak up in occasions where before I might just swallow my words and walk away. That doesn't mean I'm going to get into a fight with everyone on the internet, or even FB friends. But I know there will be times where I feel like it is worth the time and effort and the subsequent consequences, and I will.
I understand certain things now with a clarity that I didn't at 16; I have no idea how 16-year-old me would've taken advice from someone 9 years older, because that wasn't an opportunity I had. But I hope my brother will get something out of it.