so goes my life

the Ugly
I broke up with my boyfriend today. It was for the best, even if he hates me right now. What an ugly breakup, indeed. Still ugly, actually, as he keeps trying to call me and I absolutely, positively do not want to talk to him right now. To the point where I am turning off my phone; I don't care if this is considered avoidance of the situation. Talking to him at this point will only be unproductive and lead to further hateful exchanges.

I need time and space for me right now, for a good long while. I can't and don't want to be in a relationship when I am re-evaluating myself and my life.

the Bad
I cannot focus at all today on writing fic or being productive in any other form. I wish I could.

I would like to find the lyrics to Donghae's solo Beautiful. I don't suppose anyone has them or knows where I could get them?

the Good
Read this SJ/Dr. Who crossover fic by forochel, written for me and thus Kihae. :3

I got a cute haircut yesterday. Pics of it and Korea to come later.

Super Junior and, generally, its fandom still reminds me that there can be a happy place. ♥

[meta] what Super Junior means to me

The most moving account of Super Show II I've read, because Fuu has a way with words, a way with language, that moves me to tears. It makes me relive the night, the high, and want so badly to be back in that stadium, short of breath and screaming with the thrill anyway.

Edited slightly from a comment I wrote to gymnopediste:

You know, people will judge you a lot for liking boy bands, Korean or otherwise. It's just...how life goes, with music elitists and snobs and such. "It's not ~real~ music," they say, deploring your taste. But you know what? They're missing out. Because it's not just about the music. With these boys, it's also about the variety shows and the cyworlds and the movies and MVs and concerts and everything good and hilarious and wonderful - and most of all, it's about their friendships and their love for each other and the fans. What Western band do you know would have a concert like this? Where they would do so much for the fans, to thank them, to interact with them, to make sure they have the time of their lives?

Korean boy bands are different that way. Super Junior, to me, is even more special because there are so many of them and that means they can pull off some spectacular things that other five-member groups can't.

Plus, thirteen/fifteen-way friendships and love? That's unmatched, right there. And in the end, it does come down to the fact that they make me incredibly happy. And that's why I love them. ♥

I don't need a better reason than this. So judge me if you want for being a "boy band fan", but the fact remains that they make me happy and they gave me one of the most memorable (even life-changing, though this is a topic for my RL journal) experiences of my life, and that is more than enough for me to be proud in my love for them.

It's okay, you don't have to understand. :)

But if you do - all the better.




(In other news: OH MY GOD SMUT IS SO HARD AND TEDIOUS TO WRITE. Thank god for people like thundersquall who will write it for me. :3 Unexpected, KiHae, NC-17, corporate!AU. Delicious.)