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this is why i shouldn't share my feelings
seriously. don't read this if you're not a mi-stan, if you're easily offended by personal opinions on kpop idols (it's okay, i am, hence the warning), if you don't get overinvestment in fandom, or if you just don't care.
oh jesus fucking christ i am tired of watching zhou mi make eyes at kyuhyun like he hangs the stars in the sky and kyuhyun occasionally tolerate him, occasionally shrug him off, occasionally smile back and respond like, hey, maybe he actually likes zhou mi as a person. it's like a game of russian roulette with my feelings! i wish i didn't ship them, tbh. no, okay, mostly what i wish is that 1) mimi were not so stuck on him oh my god stop being so obvious it is painful to watch or that 2) kyuhyun would not be so hot and cold I WOULD LIKE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.
a lot of this ends up, as always, circling around my own neuroses and hang-ups, particularly with friendships and unequal amounts of care and being taken for granted. maybe irl they are just fine and dandy because obviously we can't ever know the whole picture as outsiders, but, just sayin, as an outsider, it really really looks like KYUHYUN IS A SPOILED BRAT WHO CHOOSES TO INDULGE ZHOU MI'S AFFECTIONS WHEN IT SUITS HIM. stop taking people who care for you for granted, asshole.
that said, hey, kyu has guns. mi, as always, is magnetically drawn to him. the lack of personal space is telling. yes, we are comfortable with each other. yes, we are actually close. so, in the end, it is just cho kyuhyun's hang-ups about fans and public images and fanservice and bullshit that makes him tense up and push away.
which is probably normal. which is probably fair. maybe mi is okay with it. maybe mi should stop touching him in public if he is clearly so uncomfortable with it. maybe i am being irrationally biased and pissy and unfair.
but as a mi-stan, i'm not going to be fair. i'm going to call kyuhyun an asshole. asshole.
ngl, i'm sick of kyustans due solely with my annoyance with kyu himself. he is not the end-all be-all. he is actually kind of a jerk sometimes.
in happier news, everything about henry makes me happy. donghae is unbelievably, disgustingly hot and i forgot how much i want him in my pants. oh my god that video HE IS IN ALL BLACK THOSE PANTS THAT SHIRT COLLAR HIS DARK HAIR.
my favorites go thusly: zhou mi, henry, donghae, ryeowook, heechul, kyuhyun.
that's definitely not the order of pants i want in, but, hey, you don't have to like someone to want to fuck them. (and donghae would make a terrible bf anyway.)
this is why i don't like the person i am in kpop fandom. overinvestment, much?
(public, hey, because i'm not ashamed of my ridiculous personal opinions, but comments screened because you should feel free to say what you want too.)
oh jesus fucking christ i am tired of watching zhou mi make eyes at kyuhyun like he hangs the stars in the sky and kyuhyun occasionally tolerate him, occasionally shrug him off, occasionally smile back and respond like, hey, maybe he actually likes zhou mi as a person. it's like a game of russian roulette with my feelings! i wish i didn't ship them, tbh. no, okay, mostly what i wish is that 1) mimi were not so stuck on him oh my god stop being so obvious it is painful to watch or that 2) kyuhyun would not be so hot and cold I WOULD LIKE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE.
a lot of this ends up, as always, circling around my own neuroses and hang-ups, particularly with friendships and unequal amounts of care and being taken for granted. maybe irl they are just fine and dandy because obviously we can't ever know the whole picture as outsiders, but, just sayin, as an outsider, it really really looks like KYUHYUN IS A SPOILED BRAT WHO CHOOSES TO INDULGE ZHOU MI'S AFFECTIONS WHEN IT SUITS HIM. stop taking people who care for you for granted, asshole.
that said, hey, kyu has guns. mi, as always, is magnetically drawn to him. the lack of personal space is telling. yes, we are comfortable with each other. yes, we are actually close. so, in the end, it is just cho kyuhyun's hang-ups about fans and public images and fanservice and bullshit that makes him tense up and push away.
which is probably normal. which is probably fair. maybe mi is okay with it. maybe mi should stop touching him in public if he is clearly so uncomfortable with it. maybe i am being irrationally biased and pissy and unfair.
but as a mi-stan, i'm not going to be fair. i'm going to call kyuhyun an asshole. asshole.
ngl, i'm sick of kyustans due solely with my annoyance with kyu himself. he is not the end-all be-all. he is actually kind of a jerk sometimes.
in happier news, everything about henry makes me happy. donghae is unbelievably, disgustingly hot and i forgot how much i want him in my pants. oh my god that video HE IS IN ALL BLACK THOSE PANTS THAT SHIRT COLLAR HIS DARK HAIR.
my favorites go thusly: zhou mi, henry, donghae, ryeowook, heechul, kyuhyun.
that's definitely not the order of pants i want in, but, hey, you don't have to like someone to want to fuck them. (and donghae would make a terrible bf anyway.)
this is why i don't like the person i am in kpop fandom. overinvestment, much?
(public, hey, because i'm not ashamed of my ridiculous personal opinions, but comments screened because you should feel free to say what you want too.)
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HENRY IS EVERYTHING GREAT AND HAPPY-MAKING ugh ilhsm.
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i think kyuhyun is a sweet guy from all the stuff he's done for henry and zhou mi in the past, but right now i kind of want to punch him. maybe they've fallen out or we're just being paranoid fans or whatever, but then maybe he should stop acting like a massive dick. even heechul has a sense of time and place.
/prepares for death from kyustans
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a littlea lot.NO OKAY WHAT I REALLY WANT IS MIMI TO JUST BE COMPLETELY COOL/PROFESSIONAL/DISTANTLY POLITE TO HIM FOR A MONTH OR SO AND FOR KYUHYUN TO SUFFER AND MISS HIM A LOT (EVEN ALL THE TOUCHING) AND NEVER TAKE HIM FOR GRANTED AGAIN. /bitter ;;
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and oh my god, all your comments about haemi gpoy gpoy gpoy.though, I wonder if haemi might grow closer in the future; I noticed that in the beginning, henry and zhou mi weren't close. they had the bond of 'oh we're alone together' but they didn't really seem like friends... I wonder if sungmin brought them together, because recently they have been interaction. a lot. (sungmin is forever and ever having my enternal love for always being their first friends and generally being the loveliest sweetest man ever).
q just needs to be rebuffed for a while - I noticed that generally during m promotions, when mi wasn't hanging all over q he was cuddling with siwon (;_; my heart) but since mr horse has been off filming dramas, maybe that's part of the reason zhou mi is stuck to the brat like glue?
as much as I adore all the henmin going on, I want some more mimin cuddling, cries am I alone.no subject
alskdhfjsk i cannot put into words how much i want haemi though. i think they are closer! there some small cute moments of hae laughing at mimi and random touching that make me happy. :D every little moment.
pretty much there needs to be fic (OR REALITY) where everyone is all over mi all the time and kyu is left alone and jealous-- wait, i think i wrote a fic like this too. ffff the things i want from qmi remain unchanged, it seems. WHATEVER, THERE SHOULD BE MORE ALL THE TIME. IN REALITY.
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ugh his voice. ugh he's cute and ridiculous and trolly and i do love him. i just want to shove him into doorways and walls sometimes too.
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OT, but how's bar studying coming along? When's your exam date?
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studying is tedious and terrible, but they assure us that's how it's supposed to be, haha. we are all suffering together, they say. my exam's july 26 & 27. so much more studying needed. orz
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And that's commonish in Chinese fics? Interesting. I don't see many English fics of Zhou Mi outside of QMI and Kyumin ones.
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except for the occasional chinese fic! yeah, miwon is strangely really popular, and i think it's hilarious. i have become sort of a fan, mostly because q keeps treating mi like a jerk in those fics. whyyyy, kyu? :(
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I'm curious now! But alas, Chinese is not a language I know, and I haven't seen many in English. So the stories are like, Zhou Mi finally gets fed up with Kyu's sporadic indifference?
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ahh those fics usually have kyu being - well, kind of like he is irl sometimes. sulky and impatient and not good with feelings, which drives mi away, or they go full out and have kyu falling in love with someone else and driving mi away. it is all basically horrible. so by the end i'm cheering for miwon because at least siwon is good to zhou mi!! >:(
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Have never felt so much lust for a human being before as I have for him in that song.
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... And then hopefully it'll all end in ridiculous amounts of QMi skinshippy goodness.
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oh qmi, they are so good together. except when bbq is throwing a tantrum, which is weirdly frequent lately.
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(Anonymous) 2011-06-25 11:17 pm (UTC)(link)but ngl i find most kyustans i've come across intolerable. like you said, all of them seem to think the sun shines out of his ass, and think everything should be about him. and hey, he is smart! and a great singer! and quite funny. but also, he can definitely be obnoxious and rude a lot of the time and most kyustans apparently don't realise that (or they revel in his occasional douchiness towards zhou mi, because 95% of kyuhyun fans are anti-zhou mi).
in a way, i think they've always been like this. qmi. like, zhou mi's always been the one with a hand on kyuhyun's shoulder or whatever, even in 2008-2009 pictures. and i can't help (bitterly) feeling that kyuhyun's apparent increased closeness with zhou mi back in 2008-2009 was due to being in a different country, having to deal with a language barrier, etc, and basically ...making use of zhou mi? and now that kyuhyun's more comfortable with it, more comfortable with himself, it's like zhou mi's not really of further use to him anymore. which isn't to say that they aren't ... idk if i'd even call them friends tbh, good acquaintances, it's just that i never thought of them as incredibly close. they don't seem to hang out much in korea? (although zhou mi has zero fans in korea rofl so it's hard to tell what he even does when he's there.) and just, i mean, i try to quit hypothesizing and enjoy the qmi fanservice for what it is- fanservice - but my overinvestment in zhou mi is too overwhelming to be ignored :\
although i do think kyuhyun is naturally not a touchy-feely person, so there's that too. but whatever, i'm still bitter on zhou mi's behalf. life of a delusional mitang.
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ngl, kyustans are actually turning me off kyu himself a bit. well, that and the way he is with mimi. i agree that he's sort of been using him and now that he's comfortable trolling on his own, he sort of just wants to do that. i do think they're close though; kyuhyun's just really, really hung up about this whole public persona thing. hence the lack of real twitter/cyworld usage. hence the searching for himself on fansites and things. i think they do hang out in korea (enough that q takes pics of fashionista!mi at least, right?), though who can know for sure, since mi doesn't share anymore and kyu has never done so anyway.
it's always bugged me that 90% of qmi is mi-->q, which is probably why even the slightest bit of q-->mi (like in this icon) makes me about 10x happier. life is hard. orz
I JUST WANT KYUHYUN TO SUFFER A LITTLE, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? /bitter
pretty much zhou mi just needs to be happy and not used and properly appreciated askdfhslk ffff no one lives up to my standards.
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(Anonymous) 2011-06-26 12:32 am (UTC)(link)where, when, what!? it is actually pathetic how !!!! i am about this, rofl
i think kyuhyun's changed considerably over the past 2 years, in that he's more outspoken in general (because his shyness in china/etc wasn't just due to the language barrier, i think; he was pretty quiet in korea, too). and that's true. i feel like kyu's pretty self-conscious, and in a way it seems like he tries to divide his fanservice equally among members? but zhou mi basically only has kyuhyun to cling to, so ugh :/ (although! i am really, really happy that zhou mi seems to be closer to eunhyuk and henry and sungmin and ryeowook! honestly zhou mi/happiness is my ultimate otp, so if others are treating him well i just, i'm so glad ok ;_;)
lol this is how i feel toooo. i hope he ends up snagging a ridiculously attractive life partner, or at the very least, has amazingly hot sex on a regular basis.
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his bfzhou mi, right? /delusionaly, i agree about q! definitely more comfortable joking (and dancing and mc-ing, he's really branching out) but still super self-conscious. i just wish the consequences didn't fall on mi.
ngl hyuk has never been a favorite but the hyukmi thrills me to pieces VERY SMALL PIECES OF JOY and of course henwook too, but they pretty much love everyone bc they are amazing, and every time sungmin says nice things about zhou mi, i just want to cuddle him and go TAKE THAT, KYUMIN FANS. AND ALSO KYUHYUN, WHO NEEDS YOU.
or at the very least, has amazingly hot sex on a regular basis.
PLEASE.
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Er. Hello there, you.
I'll be in my bunk.no subject
Take him to your bunk with you.no subject
Oh god, I wish, I really do. Mmmmmmmmmmph.no subject
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and wish fervently (in the soot of pointless way where i can't actually do anything about it) that zhou mi is happy.
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I feel you on the over-investment part. Like, the airport video? I simply could not watch it. Sobs I feel so pathetic.
To quote my own sort-of essay (because I have no life) on Qmi:
Most of the time(Zhou Mi) looks so horribly, stupidly in love with Kyuhyun. He just can’t help but touch him – like honestly? Fanservice shouldn’t be about constantly hanging all over each other, but about in-your-face or sudden spur of the moment things, which happen maybe once or twice per show/concert/whatever. But Zhou Mi just is constantly all over Kyuhyun, touching, hugging, supporting, teasing him. His gaze is on the younger man just a tad too often and the way he always manages to sneak Kyuhyun into any conversation, the way he talks about him, it’s with a strange sort of pride. As if to say, look how amazing the guy I’m in love with is!
And while Zhou Mi ‘pines’ solely over Kyuhyun and never gets quite as ‘intimate’ with any other Super Junior members, Kyuhyun doesn’t really pin himself on a particular member. He does whatever he wants, and it seems to me he revels in the screams it elicits, the attention he gets from it. (oh my god I feel like I’m badmouthing Kyuhyun someone please shoot me :/)
He kisses Siwon, hugs Sungmin, hangs all over Donghae, takes lots of selcas with Ryeowook and probably a ton of stuff I forgot in my sleep deprived, hyperemotional state. He never really plays favourites, never gets too close to someone. Admireable? Or stand-offish? I don't know.
And sometimes, just sometimes Kyuhyun also looks quite smitten with Zhou Mi but with him I just can't tell if it’s real or not, while Zhou Mi… I think he just is incapable of faking such actions or feelings for that matter. Like he’s all in and Kyuhyun… is not. Not quite. Maybe not at all. I don’t even know anymore.'
So yes, I love Kyuhyun for his singing, his looks and wits. But it sort of hurts to see Zhou Mi practically begging for attention, and Kyuhyun seemingly only indulging him when he feels like it. Urgh I sound so crazy rn I should just quit fandom :\
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adlkf and seriously, exactly what you said about them. Obviously we're not even the only ones to think so either! Mimi is just so open about how into Kyuhyun he is (whether romantically or platonically). Kyuhyun, I think, really does like his company and him as a person, but he is incredibly self-conscious about what he does in public (very guarded about what he posts to Twitter/cyworld, for instance, and the image he presents during shows - a carefully cultivated mischievous/trolly personality). Plus, I don't think he likes the idea of (consciously) playing favorites. He is close to all the other members too, so it makes sense.
But yeah, he's pretty aware of what fans will see and speculate as well, so... :/ Not a very open touchy-feely person, coupled with his awareness of a public persona makes for a lot of stand-offish moments in public that make me :||||||||||| a lot. I shouldn't hold it against him, really, BUT I DO. I DO. MIMI OR BUST, JERKFACE. NEVER MAKE HIM LOOK SAD OR LIKE HE'S TRAILING AFTER YOU LIKE A PUPPY BEGGING FOR ATTENTION. Happy things only for Zhou Mi!
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...oh wait. that's not real life. sad...
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I mean, I like your version of real life better...
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anyway i'm glad i could get that out here, idk i can't say this aloud to my friends because i am the person who is afraid of showing how overinvested i am in fandom D: but anyway.
kyu is a brat. sometimes its cute. usually its hilarious. but if it's at mi's expense i kind of want to hit him sometimes.
AND I LIKE YOUR RANKING <33333 AND THAT HENMI ARE THE TOP TWO :3
AND IF HENMI ARE NOT IN THE SS3 PHOTOBOOK I WILL THROW THINGS T_T
that is all and thank you~
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oh man overinvestment in fandom. yeah. i try not to let it get to me, but it's always qmi that does it. /o\ at least henry is everything happy-making? and unf unf donghae.
ugh, i'm almost positive ss3 dvd/photobook won't have them just because...ss2 didn't. i'm so done with that shit. i'll stick to my corner of henmi + sjm love.